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Twilight Explained by a Guy to a Guy
- Nov 23, 2009 at 10:43 PM
- By
- Comments (23) Total Views (1594) Everyone can see this journal post.
My husband was watching this web series today and I was kind of listening in. I caught this conversation and thought is was hilarious and pretty darn accurate.
Two guys talking about Twilight:
(One speaker is in black the other is in blue)
Twilight was the worst Vampire movie ever made. They shouldn't even be called vampires. They should be called "extremely iron deficient emo super heroes that hiss like Vampires when they are agitated."
Eh, maybe you just need to read the books...
What? No! It was completely insulting. So insulting I actually took it personally. They made this movie with the sole purpose of pissing me off. I mean, they're not even identifiable as Vampires. They replaced the fangs, the shape shifting, and the lack of reflections with what? Glitter skin. And the dude's all like " This is the skin of a killer" Cause nothing says "Killer" like freaking glitter!
Well, see you just need a little perspective on how to appreciate this movie.
They played Vampire Baseball!
Yeah, but...
They had uniforms!!!
Alright, here's a little word relationship test for you.
Female is to Twilight as Male is to ...
Uh... being retarded?
Pornography!
What?
Pornography!
What?
Pornography
I know what you said. What do you mean?
Twilight is like the female version of Porn, it's fantasy. Check it out.
Male Fantasy:
You order a pizza and it gets delivered by a smoking hot Nympho who finds you irresistible, who proceeds to get naked and do you, and then she disappears forever.
Female Fantasy:
She meets a completely dysfunctional, abusive, self centered, dishonest, and smoking hot guy who treats her like crap, and she changes him. I think that's why girls seem to like guys that treat them badly. They want to tame the beast. As long as the beast is super cute.
And so... the Twilight guy is like Super Douche?
Exactly!
A vampire is like the ultimate douche-bag. I mean treating your girlfriend poorly, lying to her cheating on her is pretty douchey.
But the Vampire want to eat the girl, and not in the good way. He wants to consume her flesh for nutritional and quasi sexual purposes. But because of the love he feels unconditionally for her she is solely responsible for him being inspired to finally become a better person. And establish loving her as his only purpose in life.
See it's just like porn, completely unrealistic, but it would be pretty awesome if it actually happened, and it's nice to watch, and it makes a lot of money.
I would think that more chicks would be pissed about this movie. The girl was portrayed in a totally stereotypically sexist way. Completely dependant on a man. clingy, annoying, submissive, accident prone, and she has like no personality whatsoever.
That's all part of the master plan. She's meant to have no personality, because she is a vehicle for all of the females in the audience to project their personalities into. It's genius really.
But the guy's like stalking her.
Not true. Because when a super cute guy stalks a girl, it's not stalking, it's courting.
Whatever dude, I still don't understand why girls think this stuff is so great.
Just the same way most women don't understand why porn is so great. Case and Point.
Twilight is porn.
From Hey, Shipwreck! http://www.tubedaze.com/index.htm Season 2 episode 6
Comments:
Bwahahahahaha, that's dead on! I love it!
Watched it with my husband. He looked at me and said, "Oh, really, is that it?" To which I replied, "No, not at all, but it's still funny." We both laughed our heads off. Now he's watching the whole thing on the lap top. the desk top is MINE today.
I read this to my hubby and he asked if this met he got to watch porn.
that's good stuff.
I havent read or seen the Twilight series ...but i still enjoyed this.
So funny adn I think there is some truth in it as well.
Sadly I think that there might be some truth in this!
hahahah too funny! I love it.
that was just too funny!!
lmao i love that!
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LMFAO...I REALLY enjoyed that, lol...
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