I sit here in a funk...

[Coach1]

Even though I feel I've come a long way from where I started the holiday's never pass without reflection...

(Over the years my parents resumed relationship with my brother, but still hold animosity towards myself and I'm always reminded during the holidays due to their absence...it's been over a decade since they've had contact.)

I sit here in a funk...

I sit here in a funk
Though knowing it wouldn't be easy
The same old memories persist
And yet they're still too damn hazy.

I sit here in a funk
Don't know where to go from here
Thoughts stopping dead in track
What could it be I fear?

I sit here in a funk
Not wanting to write more
But thinking back to what it was
That has ripped away my core.

So I sit here in a funk
Thinking of what life would have been
To not have known the abuse
That one day would enter in.

My parents played an advocate
To no other than my brother
He's the cause of my torment
He was my perpetrator.

11-23-09

[Coach1]

Nov. 25, 2009 at 8:45 AM

Knowing others share my struggles and reaching out to say, I know, I care, and I'm here.  Hugs, Christine

(Original Poster)

[Trust_HIM_Ps57]

Nov. 25, 2009 at 8:44 PM

Christine... I wanted to write to let you know that I care about where you're at, and I'm sending BIG HUGs to you!!!!!  ((((CHRISTINE)))))

PS... I'm in a similar place today.  My dad passed away on Thanksgiving Day of 2005, and although he was one of my main abusers, I have felt the need to grieve that I lost my dad (to cancer).  He received CHRIST into his heart just a few months before he passed, and I only got to see him about 2 or 3 times during that time (besides regular phone and email contact).

Today has been rough at times... grief, anger, sadness ...but I took some time for myself, to reflect and cry, and pray ...and rest.  Now, I'm up cooking and cleaning with hubby and kids.  Doing well. 

I hope you are well and I wish you and your fmaily a Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

[momofsixangels]

Nov. 27, 2009 at 4:09 PM

Sending huge hugs your way!!!!!!!