"go...grow...become.."

[Bearsjen]

 Happy Thanksgiving!

I wanted to say some things I am thankful for, and the first is of course my kids. How could I ever have imagined the love I feel for these lil people who i bore? that came from me...how amazed and awed I still can get . At night when I watch them sleep, or sometimes when Liam gives me a huge toothless grin...so proud he got a cracker into his mouth. Or when at a sports event, jake will scan the crowd endlessly, until he sees me and then a simple"dont embarass me by blowing a kiss" smile and nod in my direction...those are the moments that a life is built on.

Its not money, for it is fleeting. Nor is it material items...black Friday actually killed someone last yr. When is enough enough? When do we see we hold all we will ever need, right in our hearts?

Family...its always been tricky for me, and since my beloved mother passed...the bottom fdropped out it seemed. But this yr I made a commitment to myself(and to her memory) to create my own family, and there are no rules. My best friend isnt blood related, but she is family, her children as deqqar to me as any neice or nephew..Speakaing of neices, my sil isnt my favorite person, but her daughter? a little doll and I keep her close to me. My MIL and FIL? ridiculous examples of parents and we have decided this yr to take a pass at their toxic table...BUT we do pray one day that they can see the damage and try to repair it. My brother isnt perfect, who is, but hes my brother. The same with my dad. Did he abandone me at 15, yep...did he mess up and continue to do so? yes. But i love him and it seems young Liam has brought some healing and piece.

To the others who are actually related, yet fall short of family...love u, and miss you but I cant let you hurt me and mine anymore...

Mom...look, see me? I am doing it. I am going on thru this life without you here, and I am actually having an ok time lol.

But I miss you, I am thankful you were my mother, and thankful you  taught me the lessons I now share with my kids. One of which is...

Family are the ones who hold your heart and your hand-good times and bad...and always cheer "go...grow..become."

happy thanksgiving.