Lost in the Lyrics

[Amorentia]

Sara POV

Blaise's hand moved over my ribs and I could feel the smile curve his lips against my ear.  I tugged one of the buds from my ear, placing it in his so he could hear the song Reg had found to make me smile.

            

He laughed just like I had, saying, "Oh, Merlin. What is that... Alex and the squirrel pants?"

I rolled my eyes, "Alvin and the chipmunks, but that was close gorgeous, good try" I turned my head, kissing him lightly with a smile.  I was glad he was here in spite of all my silence this week.  There were just things in my head too big for me to think around and it took something silly and unexpected to stop them so I could find my way through the labyrinth of guilt my conscious was building inside.

His lips caught mine as his arms tightened around me, "I'm trying."

Rolling on my side I turned to face him, my arms sliding around his waist, revealing in the feel of security I found in his arms, "That's what counts"

He kissed me softly once more, his fingers burying themselves into my hair, pulling me closer still as the song changed to some players beat and I groaned,  "Oh, seriously"

He smiled against my lips,  "You don't like that one?"

"No..." I said rolling my eyes, "that was not on here before..that's the kind of crap he and J would listen to"I smiled at him, grabbing my IPOD to scan the songs, looking for something good to listen to as Blaise pressed his lips against my cheek, his hand reaching down to wrap around my leg, putting it over his hip, his hand running over the curve of my waist.

I snuggled in closer to his warmth asking,"What are you in the mood for?"

"Just being close to you." He said sweetly, his fingers brushing against my face.  Looking over my shoulder he nodded to my IPOD,  "What's this."

Kissing him lightly, I glanced back at the screen seeing my 'Blaise songs' playlist,  "It's my you songs" I explained with a smile.

"You're me songs?" he asked laughing, "Why are they for me?"

"They remind me of you, of the way you talk or the way you make me feel" I looked up into those warm brown eyes, moving the IPOD where he could see it better,"You've probably heard them all" I laughed, knowing he might not have been paying attention, "Well, I've played them around you at least."

              

Blaise POV

The new song started pouring out of the ear speaker. I smiled as Sara told me, kinda soft, "This one is my sweet Blaise makes me melt song."

This was nice. It was the first time we were connecting this closely in awhile. I missed her deperately. Things were just so heavy all around us, we were just getting through. Just enjoying the feel of her in my arms, I listened to the words of the song before pressing my lips to hers saying, "You are my sweetheart."

The feel of Sara's hand down my back was divine. Just about to close my eyes the song lyrics sang, "cause if I got you, I don't beed money." My eyes opened. Then Sara laughed, "Well you might not give up the money..".

"Yeah, I caught that one," I laughed in return. Money wasn't everything, but it sure was nice. It made our relaxed way of life possible. As relaxed as it could be with all the drama always popping up. Then I heard another line telling her sincerely, "You do make me fall in love with you a hundred times a day."

"See...making me melt," Sara kissed me again smiling. Her smile light up the dark room. When she snuggled to my chest, my heart warmed.

"I don't want anyone else." I told her taking another line from the song. "I just want to be with you. I can see why this song fits." My lips found her rose petals ones again.

"I just want you too," Sara cuddled into me more capturing my heart like it was for the first time. I loved her. I loved this. In more ways than I could say, I needed this. Seeing the worry in Sara's brow lesson, I figured she did as well.

"Cause if you ever let me go, I would die.." Sara sang. "So I won't front, I don't need another woman..."

"That's good to know." I teased. "Can we tell Peni that? And Flint?"

She kept singing as I wanted her brown eyes dance with feeling, "I just need your all and nothing, 'cause if I got that, Then I'll be straight."

With everything in me I needed to hear that. More often than not lately I felt like more of the problem then the solution. Not being able to really reach her, I kind of felt like I was on the outside wanting with all my heart to be inside with her where she kept herself protected. I couldn't figure out how to get in.

Rubbing her hair I answered back using my British ignorance of American as I sang from the song, "I don't know what a "shawty" is, but I know I want to be your everything."

Her gentle finger run down me cheek as she sang, "Your the best part of my day."

I teased back, "Same for me, boo."

"Shhh...," I kissed her finger over my lips. "That just sounds wrong."       

Sara POV

               

Hearing the song change he said softly, "This one sounds pretty"

Not meeting his eyes, I explained tentatively, knowing the ridiculousness that was me, "And this one is my 'Blaise won't let me chase him away no matter how stupid I'm being, how scared I act or how much I babble' song."

Kissing me lightly, he said with a smile, "I'm here as long as you let me." Brushing my cheek again, he looked into my eyes, saying the three words I would never get tired of hearing, "I love you."

I laid my head on his arm, saying sweetly, "I love you too."

"Sometimes i don't know what to do when you pull away, but stay by you." his fingers traced my face and I looked up away, knowing I made things difficult sometimes.  Whenever I hit a place where my survivial instincts took over, I had a tendancy to close in and take it inside.  It wasn't a knock against him or the love I felt for him, it was just the only way I knew how to cope.  My world had been solitary for so long, my habit of struggling only on the inside so ingrown, I didn't know how to fight against it. 

"That's more than anyone else has ever done..." I said, looking up into his eyes, "There aren't words for how much it means"  I wish there was, that I knew how to explain that while Reg might be the one to find the song, Blaise would always be the man I'd want to share the music with.  Reg knew me without words, in the silence, but Blaise made it ok for me to find my voice.

"I want to protect you so you are never alone. I want my heart to be your home." and as his eyes met mine, I saw myself in the place where my soul lived,  "You sure know how to pick them... the songs. Me, you just got stuck with."

Leaning up on my elbow, I asked,  "Is that how you think of it?" I knew lately things had been more bumpy than smooth and I hoped he wasn't now questioning my reasons for being there,  "I could have gone home with someone else that night...and not to toot my own horn here, but it's not like there haven't been opportunities since" Pushing him onto his back, I laid with my chin on his chest looking into those gorgeous eyes, "I'm here cause this is the only place I want to be"

Blaise POV

My girl suprised me with that. Again, it was something I needed to hear. All of the ways we'd been missing each other, with the wedding being postponed a week at a time, my deficiencies in her life felt like they were all rising to the surface. I felt helpless not knowing what to do except stand by her till she reached for me. Rubbing her hair I told her, "I was just teasing, darling." Kissing the top of her head, I hoped she saw that it was appriciated as I told her, "I want you here with me. It's where we both belong." Holding her in my arms we listening to the song as I felt like I was getting a better view into her inner world. Like me, she wasn't always the best with words. The songs spoke for themselves in the words we couldn't say.

              

As the next song came on Sara instantly blushed with a groan, "Oh this is just embarrasing. She is such a ho I swear...but I like the song."

I had no idea who the chic was. "Is she?" I asked listening.

"Have I gotten over my pride, sweetheart?" I laughed.

"No, baby... no." I told her wanting to hear more of the song while I imagined it was her singing to me. "I know you have to be death, dumb, and blind to love me sometimes." Kissing her neck I used the lyrics of the song, "You're the angel to my devil." That prompted a middle finger for me as she skipped the song blushing deeper, "That's enough of that one."

My lips were pressed to her face when the neck song started. I laughed against her skin.

            

"Come on gorgeous," Sara teased. "Toot toot for me."

Laughing, I rubbed my face laughing, "Next song....," At this point, after performing my secret sexy song in the Club at Sara's birthday, I knew I was never living it down as everyone reminded me of that performance over and again. I told Sara, "I'm so glad we have earphones on or everyone would be in here asking for a repeat. I don't think I'll ever be that drunk again." Looking at the Ipod I started feeling a bit of the feelings this song generated inside me. I told her, "Okay, next song. This song does strange things to me that are completely against the rules." She changed the song.

Sara POV

              

"Hopefully you remember this one" I said to him with a smile.

Stroking my cheek he told me,  "I do. I would have married you that night. I would have married you the night of the Storm when I first knew I was going to ask."

"See, now, you could have gotten me to do anything that night" I said softly, kissing his chest over his heart, "Can we do that again sometime?"

"I'd love that." he told me, giving me a sexy smile,"After we're married of course. Which I know now will be when you tell me, how you tell me, and I will love every minute of it."

"Old dog new tricks"  I repeated his words to J with a wink, thinking of how far he'd come from the stuffy guy everyone always told me about to the amazing man I knew now.

"I can learn." he replied.

Leaning up I kissed him, laying more on his chest so I could look at him as I said, "I'm just teasing...your incrediable just the way you are, I know I'm lucky" I stretched forward, kissing him once more.

"That makes two of us." he said with a smile as the song changed once more.

            

Hearing the notes began to a song that I loved, I closed my eyes just listening for a moment before cracking one open at Blaise's continued silence, seeing him rubbing his eyes, I couldn't bite back a laugh,  "Are you crying?"

He laughed with me, saying, "You know what this movies does to me"

"I do..it's really cute...you cry more than I do"  I said, giggling as I leaned up to kiss him softly.

Chuckling he began,  "There is no other song that sounds..." he got quiet, glancing towards the door as he said, "more like my heart to you."

Blaise POV

There were no words for all this song meant to me. Knowing daily I could lose her while she was pregnant with the twins only served to remind me how much I wanted to cling to her for eternity.

"I like how you look around to make sure no one see's you being sweet," Sara smiled.

Trying to push the overwhelming love that filled me hearing this aside I told her, "I'm getting conditioned to knowing any minute they all could rush in to start making fun of me."

"I got your back, your safe..." Sara told me. I couldn't help but feel that was a bit backwards. I should be the one protecting her. I still had no idea how to do that most of the time. She told me, "I scare them."

"With our friends what I say can and will be used against me." I laughed. "Thank you for protecting me. You're my princess in shining armor." Having her in my life was the reward, even if that meant she was the one who carried me off into the sunset.

Leaning over me, she surprised me by taking her wand off the nightstand and flicking it to close the door. "Hey, you do the cooking..I do the protecting...it's a good balance."

My hand went to her waist prepairing myself. This was when we were sharing as much physical pleasure as we could without crossing the lines Reg had guilted Sara into drawing. It was difficult. The intimacy of being so connected to her without holding back was one of the most freeing loves we shared. I missed the depth of that intimacy - being so deeply inside of her in one of the only ways she used to be confortable with letting me. The connection we made when making love always nurtured me, let me nuture her, in ways we hadn't bridged completely yet outside of the bedroom. I stress, "yet." It was a learning process for us as we worked over the self protection, as well as the inadiquacies we both felt, along with the added barriers our "friends" threw into the mix, as we built our life together. For us, it was going to take time.

As always with her, I would take what I could get. Just a measure of what she gave me was worth much more than the whole package any other woman could give. My hands went to her waist smiling at the closed door as I playfully asked, "So what do I get for doing the laundry and waking up early with the kids?"

"Me not cooking?" Sara grined that beautiful smile that made my day.

"That is a gift in and of itself," I joked.

But it made her laugh, "That's so wrong."

[Amorentia]

Nov. 30, 2009 at 12:18 AM

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(Original Poster)