Setbacks in my life....

[Kim370]

everytime I think things are going well, something has to mess it up.  For example, the idiot ex always has to try and harrass me and bring me more stress.  I thought ex's were supposed to settle down and calm down after a year or so.  Mine keeps getting more annoying.   My job is not going well, and I need to go to school and get my teacher's certificate.  I can apply for a loan but Im sure I will get turned down because my credit is bad.  Oh, and my credit is bad thanks to bankruptcy caused by the ex.  Also, I need health insurance but cant afford something good.  If I end up in the hospital, I am screwed.

  Me and my kids went to visit my brother's family for Thanksgiving, and I thought we would have a great time.  NO, we didnt.   My brother's kids were mean to my kids and basically ignored them.  They are 13 and 15, and I know that has something to do with it but they were just downright rude.  The kids were not that friendly towards me either.  The daughter wanted "quietness" when she was in the room doing her homework.  I asked my brother why she couldnt do her work in her room.  He didnt have an answer because she basically ruled the house.  Ugh, they have no personalities either.  So, that was another setback because me and my kids needed a nice vacation and I thought my family members would be nice.  Also, I have other relatives who do not even want to see my kids.

How do you handle setbacks?  Im getting discouraged, and I cant seem to MOVE FORWARD.

[sati769leigh]

Dec. 2, 2009 at 4:48 PM

look at what you feel is wrong, and change it. you can change how you are affected by somethings and you can plan and change others. cut people out who are toxic, pay off old debts instead of acruing new ones, etc.

[Lavander]

Dec. 2, 2009 at 4:58 PM

Families are supposed to be great but it can't be perfect at times.  Just learn to accept your brother and his kids and move on.  It's normal to feel bad because they were supposed to be hospitable since you and your children are guests in their home.  Since your extended family only causes you pain then just create new traditions with your kids.  I'm so far away from my close extended family who I cherish and love.  It is lonesome and I terribly miss my close friends and family but I have to move on and make the holidays both happy and memorable for my children.

Try to think of ways to find amicable solutions to your ex problem and hope that eventually he would simply stop or if he does not is it possible to completely cut him off from your life? 

[Phyleva]

Dec. 2, 2009 at 11:31 PM

I feel just as you do sometimes. It is hard to find the positive when there is so much negative around. Just try to always look at things as the "glass half full' in stead of "half empty..."

[mars33me]

Dec. 3, 2009 at 12:08 AM

When I stopped getting mad at my ex, well let me clarify, when I stopped letting my ex know he was getting me upset he stopped talking to me.  I refused to talk to him if he was going to raise his voice, I never argued back and when he got mad about something I would tell him I was going to hang up if he raised his voice.  I followed through with it too!!  You have a lot more power over the situation than you realize and when you start taking that power it's going to be great, trust me!!  As far as getting sick and going into the hospital, there a lots of people without insurance right now, so hospitals have programs to help those not on insurance, based on your income.  And if you can't get a loan because of a bankruptcy why don't you look into financial aid?  There are soooooooooo many programs out there right now to help people better themselfs and get into a good job! Look for them!! Hang in there, if I can get through all I've been through you can survive this!!

[Grneydmomof2]

Dec. 10, 2009 at 7:50 AM

First off I hope you find a way to get your certificate so you can get what you need for your job. Secondly, to hell with your family if they don't want to see your kids. Just stay home and find things to do with together. Family is what we get, we don't get to chose. Sending lots of hugs your way!!!!

[Ewadun]

Jan. 6, 2010 at 5:45 AM

I'm praying that you got your certificate or are working towards it! I handle my setbacks by praying for comebacks! Also, a sense of humor helps when all else fails. My family kinda sucks too, so I left my home state and started over. Check out my journals.