Another ba-humbug Christmas

[emhain]

 Well I got what I asked for.

Just not what I wanted.

Apparently I need to learn to clarify.

Or at least figure myself out before I speak.

There was a deal reached. Over a year ago. The deal was that Tayler's dad could take her for all school breaks and holidays and for 2 weeks- twice- in the summer. This, because he chose to move far, far away.

In return for her being with him for all major holidays AND my birthday, AND her birthday, I got a few promises. Things like- her trips will not ever interere with school. She will be watched by a responsible adult, I will know the address and phone number of both his house and whatever house she is at while he works.

I know- you all think I'm nuts. That's fine. Tayler loves her father. She wants to see him. This is how it works best for all involved. Well, okay... maybe not ME but let's face it- I'm a minor player in the father/daughter relationship. And I want there to be a relationship. So there you have it.

Anyway, last year he screwed up in several big ways. Let's sum up- he broke every last one of those agreements. So we had a big, long discussion and got it all sorted out. Or so I thought.

Last week he started up with his intention to take her for the holiday and he had managed to arrange it so that she would only miss 3 days of school!! What a fantastic guy!! Um, no. No way. i have bent for you, punk, but I will not bend any further. So he got sorta pissy and finally agreed (in a very childish tone, might I add) to pick her up bright and early on the 24th. And she misses no school. Great. He'll return her to my doorstep on Jan 3rd. Again, missing no school. Great again.

Only... she gets out of school on the 23rd, leaves the 24th. Comes home the 3rd, goes to school the 4th.

So...

Where's my Christmas?

Up in smoke, apparently.

Well, shit. He followed the rules. Begrudgingly, yes. But he followed them. And I still get screwed.

Not my most well thought out plan.

Now what do I do?

I can't hold Christmas till later in January. Yes, tay is old enough to understand. But her almost-4 year old sister is NOT. She will want Christmas ON Christmas (or at least near). She won't know when Christmas is unless I tell her, of course. But she also goes to daycare. And I don't want her to hear the other kids tellng all about their holiday and my poor kid wondering why Santa skipped her, ya know? Nope. Can't do that.

So ... what to do?

Ideas? Suggestions? Mafia hit men that can "delay" my ex?

Anyone?

[sati769leigh]

Dec. 2, 2009 at 5:02 PM

there is NO reason not to have TWO christmases. have one for the younger child and one later for the older child.

[jsbenkert]

Dec. 2, 2009 at 5:18 PM

I agree with sati769leigh here.  Have Christmas at home, as per usual, just save Taylor's gifts until she can celebrate with you--another Christmas.  If it helps, save a present or two for your younger to open with Taylor.  Is this something that will work for you?

[ms_mommy_sue]

Dec. 2, 2009 at 5:21 PM

I agree with isbenkert, also you could do it on the night of the 23rd. say santa deleivered them while they were at school/daycare and you know where He hid them. You could explain it as he wanted you all to have Christmas together but since sissy is leaving, you get ot have it a day early

[emhain]

Dec. 2, 2009 at 5:33 PM

*sigh*

So... get over my self-pity? is that what you're saying here?

Fine *stomping feet and pouting*

I know, I know. You're right. All of you. I was actually thinking of having the kids up stooopid early on the 24th and doing Christmas before tay leaves.  I could do that, I guess.

But can I still pout?

(Original Poster)

[jsbenkert]

Dec. 2, 2009 at 5:40 PM

No, you should hang on to the self-pity for a little while.  The whole situation stinks, and seems pretty unfair.  But, I guess we must face that we are adults and have to get over it and get on with it eventually.  I'll pout with you.  There.  I even stomped my feet.  I'll do it again if it helps you feel better.

[MelanieLouise]

Dec. 2, 2009 at 6:13 PM

I'll pout with you, because it sucks that you can't be a big happy family for Christmas. I think doing it on the 23rd or 24th sounds good, or maybe you can have the dad pick her up on the 25th? You get the morning, he gets the afternoon?