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Why Santa Does Not Visit Our House
- Dec 3, 2009 at 3:58 PM
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- Comments (28) Total Views (1554) Everyone can see this journal post.
This is my second year on cafemom, so the great Santa debate is not new to me. People are of the opinion that Santa is a great childhood memory, that Santa is real, that Santa is evil, that Santa is a lie, and just about everything in between. I have to laugh at some people's justifications for choosing whether or not to have Santa visit their house. I would like to share why Santa does not visit our house.
Christmas is a religious holiday for my family. Jesus was not born on December 25. However, some pagan holiday was repurposed to celebrate Jesus birth. Since it is a time when everyone else does choose to focus on Jesus (supposedly), I do like to participate in this day set aside to celebrate the birthday of King. I don't know when his actual birthday was, and I prefer to celebrate it when everyone else does.
Many families choose to celebrate Jesus birth AND to have Santa visit. They say that their children know the real meaning of the season. Perhaps they do. Most children I know, when asked about Christmas, talk about the presents that Santa is bringing. Very few children will say anything about Jesus. I wonder if the true meaning is being taught as an afterthought, perhaps as the reason Santa visits. Initially, my family was going to teach Jesus, and mention Santa as an afterthought. I realized this wasn't really going to work for us, though.
In our society, Santa and gifts are NOT an afterthought. Santa is the reason. Just turn on the tv, go to the mall, or venture outside of your four walls. The focus is on what you're buying people for Christmas, what the kids are getting, whether or not they still "believe", and how many cookies to bake for the cookie exchange. Jesus is not mentioned, except when people get all up in arms about "Happy Holidays" being said while they're buying more lights for the tree or gifts for their kids.
Is telling your children that Santa is real (or just allowing them to believe) lying to them? I am not sure. However, I DID feel lied to by my parents. Why? Because they lied! I asked, at about age 8 or so, "Is Santa real?" My dad answered "Of course he is." I asked if he was lying, my dad said no. At that age, the Santa debate is going on in school as well. You've got kids saying he's real, and that he's not. Let's ask ourselves WHY these children still believe in Santa. I'll tell you why I did. I knew in my mind it didn't make sense anymore. However, my argument to the other kids was always this. "I know my parents wouldn't lie to me." And I've heard those same words from other children's mouths. So, for me, it was a lie. Was I scarred for life? No. But my parents lied to me about plenty of other things, too. So one lie doesn't make a difference to me in the midst of a heap of others.
However, the biggest issue for me is that the existence of Santa takes away the responsibility that we have to take care of those around us who have needs. I will never forget the day my dad found out one of my brother'sbest friends was living in a cinderblock house with his mother and brothers. No heat, barely anything except 4 walls. My dad took me with him when he took boxes of clothes and coats and some food to them. He was explaining that we have to help people because sometimes they can't find a job, or they have whatnot happen. Those of us who are able have the responsibility to help those who have needs. I asked a very simple question. "Then why don't they ask Santa to bring them jackets and underwear instead of toys?"
There wasn't a single kid at my school who didn't believe in Santa. Pretty early on, we saw that Santa brought different kids different stuff. I got a ton - my parents were very well off. Other kids got very little. I felt very guilty at what I received. I felt that I hadn't been good enough, and that my friend David (name made up) was better than I was, but he only got a basketball for Christmas. It was very confusing for me. I assume it was confusing for the sweet children who only got one or two gifts for Christmas as well.
This is a season for sacrificial giving. God gave a great gift to us, in the gift of his Son, who would offer another sacrifice, the sacrifice of Himself. In the Christmas season, my family chooses to focus 100% on that gift. We give sacrificially to families who have needs, true needs. It is a time to show my children what this world could be like if everyone focused on giving all the time, rather than just one month out of the year. Other people say I am stealing the magic of the season away from my kids by not "allowing' them to believe in Santa. I say I am freeing them to see it and recognize it when they are still young enough to embrace it. People say that I just want the credit for giving my kids their presents. I just laugh at that. The true miracle of the season is the virgin birth. This is what I choose to teach my children.
Comments:
You've explained it so much better than I ever could, thank you. Those are many of the same reasons we don't do Santa, along with the fact that our parents never did Santa.
We're not Christian, so we celebrate the Winter Solstice. Quite literally, we're celebrating the start of winter, and also that the days that have been getting shorter will now be getting longer again. It's welcoming back the light and being grateful for the food we have, the family around us, etc.
Santa doesn't fit in. I don't do the Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny either. I think there's enough joy, love, happiness and caring to be spread and absorbed because of REAL life. I really don't feel the need to lie. As a child, I enjoyed Santa and would sit on "his" lap (random mall Santa), but I FULL WELL knew he was a guy in a suit, just like Big Bird. It didn't make it any less fantastic for me.
I guess it all depends on the way you were raised. My two kids are small enough that they wouldn't know the difference between Santa and Clifford the Big Red Dog, but when I was little my parents did the whole Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy thing. We would always leave cookies for Santa (which I now know were being eaten by my parents on Christmas Eve while they were wrapping our presents), and left carrots outside for the Easter Bunny (We lived in the boonies, so there were ALWAYS things out that would eat carrots).
To this day, and I'm 23 years old now, I still get gifts from my parents labeled "To Megan, From Santa" As many people who worship and pay homage to Santa, he could very well be a god in his own right. :D I know, logically, that Santa doesn't exist, but the present labels still make me smile. And I will be raising my kids with Christmas and Santa and all the good stuff.:D
I actually do both but my children are told all year round the reason for Christmas, we discuss this and Easter
Up until 2 years ago, we did the Santa thing, but then my oldest son was starting to ask questions. We were also feeling convicted about lying to them ( we are Christians too). So, we sat them down and told them the story of Saint Nicholas who was the "real" Santa and how he was a good person who gave gifts to poor people, but he died a long time ago. This led into telling them that no Santa isn't real, the presents come from Mommy and Daddy. It wasn't nearly as traumatic as we thought it would be and is actually in fact much easier. Our kids understand that gifts cost money, and that just because you've been good, doesn't mean you'll get big expensive presents( not that they've ever asked for anything extravagant anyway, they're very low maintenance when it comes to gifts. They actually haven't even asked for ANYTHING this year.) It breaks my heart when I see questions and journals on this site from people who are struggling financially this year, as alot of people are with the economy being in the toilet, wondering how they're going to explain to their kids that Santa isn't coming this Christmas. I'm not going to bash anyone for letting their kids believe in Santa, that's certainly your choice and prerogative, but I can't help but wonder if alot of the stress of Christmas would be lessened if people weren't so worried that their kids will be let down that some fat guy in a red suit didn't bring them all the toys they wanted for Christmas? What if your kids knew and understood that toys cost money, they don't just magically appear under the tree, and that because Daddy lost his job this year, or Mommy's been sick and can't work, that just because they've been good, it doesn't mean they will get the Playstation or Ipod. I'm not saying that all kids don't deserve to have at least SOMETHING to open on Christmas morning, but if their expectations weren't so high, maybe people wouldn't be so stressed out and depressed this time of year.
Let me add that when I was a kid, we believed in Santa and we certainly weren't rich, but we weren't dirt poor and we always had one nice gift under the tree. Usually a baby doll for me, that was what I always asked for, and some smaller gifts. My neighbors always had the biggest, most expensive gifts. The video games ( when Atari came out, they had one, when Nintendo came out, they had one) stereos, televisions for their rooms, you name it they had it. It's funny, I never wondered why Santa brought them nicer presents than he brought us. I was just happy with what I got. I guess it's all in the perspective and expectations.
You did a great job of explaining your perspective.
I am still forming my own since my son is only two. The in-laws always have someone dress as Santa to pass out gifts on Christmas Eve so our children will naturally be exposed to this tradition. At this point I think we will take more of a passive approach while the children are young. When they are old enough to ask the question we will respond with the truth. I personally don't see any reason to perpetuate a fantasy like this to a child who can logically think such a thing through.
I agree with a lot of the previous posters....as a child I knew the "Santas" at the mall and all that were just guys in suits. Having older siblings, I also knew that my "Santa" gifts were from my parents. But the fun of it all was still there. I still love the idea of Santa and love watching all the Christmas movies too.
As a mom now, I have decisions to make regarding my own kids. I think I will do Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc. but if my kids ask, I will tell them the truth. My son is only two and a half and he doesn't really even know who Santa is yet. I don't feel bad for letting them believe while they're young, but hopefully the wonder and fun can still remain with them after they know the truth. I will surely explain the real reasons behind Christmas, Easter and the Santa story though so they know that it's not all presents and candy.
Good journal post!!
My parenting career has spanned 27 years now ... I really don't get the big debate . There are so many "heated issues " these days that in the long run don't make that big of a deal , The longer you parent you realize that there are no hard and fast rules to parenting or parenting issues ... and every child is different in every family .... I wish kids came with manuels too , but the thing is they don't .... you do the best you can and hope for the best . There are really few right and wrongs !
I just think it is sad that some people get so upset and so angry waisting time and energy on a pretty benign and unimportant issue when there are real problems in the world .
In my home Santa went from the man in the red suit to the "spirit" of Christmas. My kids grew to feel the spirit within and not confuse that feeling with some jolly old man bringing gifts. I think when they were young it was cute but he was never the center of our holiday.
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That was an AWESOME journal. This is something that I have been struggling with since I had my daughter and I think I really know where the Lord is leading me. Thank you for posting this
- lovemybabygirl7
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