I had a hard week with my work going out of business and me finding out that I had no health insurance (thanks to them not paying my December bill and not informing me) a day before my scheduled surgery and now I may be denied based upon a "pre-existing condition" even though I have had Kaiser since I was 16 years old!! (If the same place has been treating me for 12 years how do you have a pre existing condition?? I just don't understand that!).

Then this morning my DH informs me that he has "a little" work to do this weekend.... okay a little- wouldn't you describe that as an hour or two?? Me too.... NO he worked from 9 am until 530 pm today! ugh. Okay fine, I kept the baby away from him as much as I could, but he's one year old and Daddy is at home and in plain view.. so I couldn't keep him completely off you know? So I start making chicken noodle soup for dinner. Then I need to go to the dry cleaners to pick up DH's jacket, go to the dollar store and Target to do some light Christmas shopping. I asked DH if he would watch the baby. NO. He is working. okay fine.

I took the baby with me. He was being very whiney and grabby and I just needed to get away for a little while! He calmed down a little when we left. Then when we left the last store (Target) he had a fit because he did not want to go! It took me a good 3 minutes to calm him down enough that I could strap him into his carseat!

We get home and I need to chop some veggies and debone the chicked that has been boiling all day... I ask DH to watch the baby and he acts like I just asked him to move mountains!! ugh. So I finish up in the kitchen and set it to boil some more.

I go to go potty and I hear the baby whining at the door.. Ma ma. ma ma. ma ma.. uuuuhhhhh. ma ma ma ma. Geez man! Can't I take a leak without a screeching baby at the door?? DH finally gets him and takes him away from the door. He calmed down a little bit... and then started throwing things at the door! His Mega blocks, a book, a ball, his cup.... Uhm... hello I am trying to go!!

I come back out and the baby is whining again. Up up up ma ma up up ma ma. I just need a little time!! Please sweetheart. go play. go chase the kitties. for goodness sake please leave me be for one second!!

I go to my DH and tell him I need 20 minutes by myself. Please help me. He looked at me like I just asked him to give me the moon with a big silver bow on it! So I grab my laptop and hide behind the Christmas tree.... 8 minutes later, I have a baby in my lap. Hi. Hi. hi ma ma. hi. fine. I'm done. I go add the noodles to the soup.

I cuddle up with DS and nurse him and he knocks out. ohhhh. sleepy baby. alrighty then. So I wait 10 minutes and he should be out enough that I can lie him down... nope. everytime I unlatch him he wake right up. so I just chill there. Then I realize that dinner should be done.  Honey, dinner is done, go dip yourself some. Please turn off the heat... to which I get a melodramatic sigh. seriously??

Then he starts banging stuff around in the kitchen. the baby wakes up. good. time for him to eat anyway. So I dip the food, get crackers and milk for the 3 of us. He eats and the whole time is throwing dirty looks at everyone... once again (as in every weekend DH claims he is sick... but he's always fine enough for sex or running whatever errands he wants....).

After dinner I start trying to clean up. the baby is whining again!! Ma ma, up, ughhhh, ma ma, up... eeeee!!! ma ma. OMG I swear dude, you're just chilling on the couch can you please?? He yells "shut up" at the baby! ugh. so I stop cleaning, just put away that which will spoil and pick up the baby. he sticks his hand down my shirt and rubs his eye.. okay- that is one of his signals of mommy I'm tired give me mommy milk and put me to bed! So I sit on the couch with him and nurse him and he takes little breaks in between sips to chat at me... DH Screams, "shut up!" Hey he is just talking! leave him alone!

I tell DH if he is that sick, if he is that tired GO TO BED!!

I take DS upstairs and put him in his crib. I read him a couple books and then sit on the rocking chair to wait for him to fall asleep. He started to whine again. I gave him my hand, he started to chew on my finger. then I pull my finger out of his mouth but not his hands and tuck his thumb insto his mouth... he falls straight asleep.....

Finally, some quiet... except that DH is not being very nice about me cleaning or typing.... what am I supposed to do sit still here and wait for you to decide to go to bed?? ugh.

You know, some times a Mommy just needs some space!!

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Dec. 6, 2009 at 6:16 AM

I can smell that chicken the whole time I read your journal.  The only way I get 'space' is to go to bed early and get up before everyone else.  

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