Ok ladies, bare with me, this is my first journal entry. so it might be choppy and all over the place. 

 

My beautiful daughter was born in 2003, and I was with her dad for four years, He left us when she was 8 months old, because i got too fat and we faught all the time. He couldnt handle the post partum depression. Anyways I dated various people for the next few years, but usually not unless she was with a sitter, i didnt want to confuse her.  I Always thought that was the right thing for me.  When she was 4 I got serious with this man, who after 9 months I married. ( ya i know not the smartest thing to do) we moved from camrose, To where i currently live.  We were married for five months, and then two weeks after I miscarried our baby, he leaves me for SIX, yes i said six, other women. So i have become a bit jaded. I now live with My current SO, and things are Very rocky to say the least.  And my DD is now 6.  So as it stands right now Im lost, lonely and Wanting so badly to feel like I belong in my own life.  There is so much going on in my head. And I Keep trying to remind myself of the blessings i do have instead of focusing on what i dont have! Some days it just doesnt work.

 

Jenn

 

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Comments:

sweet...
Dec. 6, 2009 at 8:06 PM

((((hugs))))

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Hello...
Dec. 6, 2009 at 8:14 PM

This won't be the easiest thing to hear...but the best thing you can do...is start finding a way to live on your own.  You will be a bit lonely at first...but it will give you renewed confidence to do it yourself.  It will give you more self worth.  It will make it easier to realize the kind of man you do deserve.  We all makes mistakes.  I've made tons.  The question is...where do you go from them:)  Your daughter is currently learning everything she needs to know about relationships, from you.  You are the goddess in her life....even if you don't feel like a goddess.  To her-you are.  Being a good role model isn't making all the right desicions, or having everything money can buy.  It's picking yourself up from a bad situation, and becoming a better stronger person for it.  I have faith in you!  Hugs & Love:)

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Chibi...
Dec. 6, 2009 at 10:00 PM

Kicking your current significant other to the curb, he's got what? sixteen days left you said, is the best thing you can do for yourself right now. I've been watching what you're going through and I really don't think he's good for you at all, then again you already know what I think of him so this isn't anything new to you, lol!

Anyway, it's going to be hard and lonely and you'll second guess yourself a lot. I know, I've been there. BUT things WILL get better and soon you'll see only yourself and your daughter and nothing else will matter to you. You'll find happiness again and, eventually, you'll find love with the perfect man for you. I know this too because, hey, it happened to me.

LOVE YOU!

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bree7...
Dec. 6, 2009 at 10:28 PM

You do what ever it takes to make you happy.A happy mom is the best mom...I seriously believe this.You just trust your instincts lovely and you should be fine.♥But always remeber, everything takes some work and I know you know this.wink mini((hugs))

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starrsun
Mar. 3, 2010 at 12:31 PM

You sound like me...I'm unsure how old you are....

I married young the first time...didn't really know him;got prego,got abused-physically,emotionally,mentally...and left him only because he went after my child once.

After him...a succession of men..none good for me or my child....I was so very lonely;wanting only to 'belong'...somewhere even if it was in my own life. I won't bore you with the rest of the tale..suffice it to say...after being a single parent,raising two little girls...at the 'ripe old age' of 37,reconnected with an awesome guy who has now been my husband for almost 9yrs. It hasn't been easy even here..in this marriage...I still feel lonely and alone alot...and I can't afford meds,so...

If you need someone to vent to...cry to...smile to...please feel free to pm me...add me as a virtual friend...if not,no worries,either...I know the pain of where you are...and it DOES get easier eventually.

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