Advice (no bashing please)

[Wanttoadopt1117]

My husband and I have been trying to adopt a child for a very long time. We have spoke with about five birth-mothers. Although we just weren't a match for one reason or the other. Not going to go into all that. After the last one i told my husband I could not do this anymore. Later in the day my SIL called me and said we want to have a baby for you. We have seen the heart-ache that you both have been through and we both agreed we want to have a child fro you. WE don't want any money we just want to watch you two become parents. Weare still unsure of what to do it seems a little odd to me. I would never do anything to hurt my family and I feel as if this will break their hearts in a million pieces. They said they will be fine and its not going to hurt them. Any advice out there no bashing please.

[tita0917]

Dec. 8, 2009 at 12:50 PM

Oh wow, thats a tough one.  I guess my best suggestion from someone not experiecned would be to go see a family counselor regarding this just to make sure they are ready... if they are...at least its within the family.  Good luck to you on this. xOxO

[SThompson21]

Dec. 8, 2009 at 12:54 PM

that is so sweet of your sis. that is a decision that you have to make. if you would rather her not, then you have to be honest with her. if you choose to, i would have paperwork written up and signed by both parties. do it through legal offices just so it cant bite you in the butt later. try making a list of the pros and cons and then go over the list. sometimes when i have a decision, i do that and it helps put things in perspective. good luck to you and your husband. i hope that things work out for you and you have a child-whether through adoption or your sister having the baby for you. :)

[sati769leigh]

Dec. 8, 2009 at 1:05 PM

it is a very selfless thing she is offering. But I would suggest she and her husband go to some counceling PRIOR to committing to this. I think for you this would be a GREAT thing. the baby would be closer blood related. You could be part of the pregnancy and delivery. there from conception practically.

But what she is offering is NO small thing. I am a birth mother. it was heartwrenching to give my baby to another family to raise, even knowing from the get go that the baby was not "MINE" per say. which is why i suggest she and her husband have some therapy and education on this matter PRIOR to committing to it. also, consider if she already has children. how will this affect THEM to see thier mom pregnant but no baby comes home? that could be hard on the children.