It's been awhile.

[fullaheart]

  I haven't been on cafemom for almost a year.   I've missed it.  As we all know, life can throw us curve balls.  This past year has thrown me quite a few.  The biggest one was my grandson coming to live with us.  It was either he came live with us or go into the county system.  Of course we chose here but we had no idea what we were in for and how much our lives would change.  Joey is 13, almost 14, and he has ADHD and ODD.  For a while I thought we had bitten off more than we could chew.  The ADHD wasn't  too hard to deal with but the ODD has been hell.  He was stealing, lying, sneaking around, physically and verbally abusive and was lighting fires anytime I wasn't paying 100% attention.  Everytime I even tried to take a shower without another adult in the house, he would light a fire.  I didn't think we would survive.    I almost lost everything, my store on ebay, both my jobs and forget any personal time on the computor or out of the house.  Every breath, every thought and every decision made had to include joey or there would be hell to pay.  We never knew what was coming next.  Hence, my absense.  Things are better now.  With alot of therapy, the right meds. and alot of fighting, things have finally calmed down for the most part.  There are no more fires, no stealing and he still lies but what 13 yr. old doesn't?  He still has behaviors that he will have to fight against for the rest of his life but at least now he sees it and wants to fight a good fight.  He is now being transitioned back into regular school and he is getting good grades.  The hardest and the best decision his mom and dad ever made was giving him to us.  Not because we can fix all but because here, he was like an only child and he didn't have to compete with his brother and sister for attention and he had no else he could blame for his actions.  We are really proud of the progress he's made but we realize that we can't let up even for a second or the old joey could slip right on back in and all of the hard work we've done and he's done will have been for nothing.  It's good to be back and it's good to be able to breathe again.

[MSugarKane]

Dec. 8, 2009 at 4:18 PM

Wow you are a very patient person and a really good woman to take on that type of problem child.  I am so glad to hear he is doing better for you!  Pat yourself on the back!  <Standing ovation>  FOR YOU!  Hard work put into a child always does good! 

[morningglory1]

Dec. 8, 2009 at 6:14 PM

I've been wondering where you have been!  You are doing something not a lot of people could probably do...or would care to do! What a wonderful person you are!!! My prayers are with all of you....God Bless You!!!!!