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So frustrating, and a little chovanistic..Piog
- Dec 10, 2009 at 1:00 AM
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- Comments (5) Total Views (265) Everyone can see this journal post.
Okay so it's a snow day and to top it off my oldest didn't have pre-school which I don't mind. However this problem has been going on for like ever. Recently I have become a stay at home mom which I love however it appears that my DH seems to think that it's not a full time job, either that or I don't deserve a break either. For example when we go on vacation we are supposed to be relaxed and have a great time, in which we often do, but half the time he is out relaxing and leaving me with both kids. Here is where my DH seems to think I hate my kids and I don't really I don't it's just I never get a chance to actually have adult time with another adult because I have my kids with me. If I have a doctor's appointment I have to haul the kids with me unless I can work around my DH schedule. Or if it is scheduled in the am my husband usually wants me to take them with me cause he "needs" his sleep. I realize that he works second shift but come on here he sleeps right up until he has to go to work and then he is out the door. ERRRR! He gets a day off, I don't when he gets sick it's like taking care of a big baby. When I get sick, it's suck it up and deal with it. According to him, he never gets a day off cause he is doing stuff around the house, but I told him that is your choice not mine. When he isn't puttering around the house he spends all his time with the kids and I am competeing for attention with my kids. According to my DH I am overreacting and acting like an eleven old. He doesn't have time to coddle me and the kids need their dad, but his wife doesn't need her husband. It's gotten so bad that I have threatened to leave, but I won't cause I don't have anywhere to go. My parents could care less, my SIL is busy with her grand kids in practically raising them herself cause he daughter is lazy, So pretty much in the end I do have to come to terms with this and accept this. So, here is my question to you ladies. How does your husband act, does he help you out or do you end up doing all the work yourself? Do you get a chance for a girls night out, can you take a shower by yourself, and do you ever get a chance to pamper yourself when you are away from the kids? I am so frustrated cause I can barely go to the bathroom without having the kids barge in on my privacy it's so irritating. Anyway that's about it, I am done venting.
Comments:
Yeah - adult time is pretty limited while the babies are little. Don't worry, once they hit 1st grade and are in school all day you will have a lot more time. It sucks right now, but it will get better.
One of the weekends when he has a day off just tell him that you want to go shopping or something without the kids, and take your time, stop by the book store or whatever you want to do and really soak it up.
Be thankful you have someone there to help you at all and who pays the bills. Being a single mom and needing to work to support yourself sucks WAY worse than being stuck at home with little babies all the time.
Free time is also known as school. I Had to wait an awful long time to get any free time. My kids are now 13 and 11 and they are still at the door when i pee. I am hoping in a few more years I'll be able to shower or pee with out interruption. I don't know though I will still have my dh, and he's just as needy as the kids. Mine does things with the kids, but we hardly have any time. I am always on duty, my husband has weekends off, and when he's off work, he's off work. EVERYTHING dealing with the home is my job. So the last day I had off was.... gosh I don't remember.
My hubby helps out around the house (some cleaning, some cooking, especially now since I'm pregnant and food just makes me want to puke), he takes care of the kids (I didn't make these kids alone!). Other than my sister, I don't have any friends so I don't go out which doesnt bother me since I'm a homebody anyway. When he's home, he lets me shower alone, go to the bathroom alone...but I think that's mostly because the kids are excited to have him home and would rather be with him than with me, which works for me.
I dunno, I guess you could tell your hubby that you need maybe an HOUR to yourself and that a happy mama equals a happy household. Good luck!
SORRY...BUT DOES HE KNOW THE GOLDEN RULE...MAYBE NOT, BUT THIS IS THE GOLDEN RULE IN MY FAMILY.....WHEN MAMAS NOT HAPPY NO ONES HAPPY OH WELL
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One: Being able to pee alone, at least once a day is treasured 45 seconds
Two: getting a shower that is not rushed and without someone "HAVING to knock on the door just never happens.
Three: Time for myself, to talk to adults, hmmm, nice theroy.
Four: As men age they sleep even more, sometimes longer then the infants and toddlers! Grandpop sleeps a LOT!
Five: I have learned the only way to get me time is to leave the house, when I know my DH or mommies of the grandchildren are home. And to stay out as long as I can. And knowing I am going to come back to what I left, without much difference, but getting out helps.
Six. this is my life, has been , will be and good or bad, I have just that, good days and bad days but I muddle through and am the one doing everything, all the time, day and night, night and day, but that smile on my two year old grandson face and my 4 month old grandsons face everyday makes it all worth it.
- MSugarKane
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