Childbirth - Have it your way!

[RNsteph]

Last night I worked, and there were two deliveries.  One chose hypnobirthing, the other had an epidural.  Neither one had pitocin.  Both delivered healthy babies.  Both were smiling afterwards, so I assume they are happy with the birth experience and the outcome.

As we were finishing up the paperwork, I mentioned to two of my coworkers the debates that were going on here at Cafemom regarding hospital births vs. home births.  I also asked them if they were aware of the perceptions some people had of those of us who work in hospital labor and delivery units.  One of them said, "That we hold them down and force pitocin and epidurals on them?  And if they don't deliver on our time table, we make them have a c-section?"  Yep.  Exactly.  It really bothers us.  We go in, work hard, and have pride in what we do.  To read some of the comments here about hospitals is really demoralizing. 

I am bolstered by the fact that our patients are happy with us.  This is not to say that there are not bad experiences on occasion - but for every bad experience, there are 100 good ones.  And juding by the thank you cards, fruit baskets, chocolates, and baked goods we receive, I would say that most of the time, our patients leave the hospital feeling positive about their experience.

There are people behind the handles on cafemom; sometimes I think that is forgotten.  It is hurtful to read some of the things that people post. 

As I said before, childbirth is a personal, intimate experience...does it matter how or where someone has their baby?  Do we need to bash them for their choice?  Or bash the people who work in the hospitals?  I work with the most wonderful professionals.  Those of you who view us as control freaks who want to push drugs on these women have no idea what you're talking about.

I'm sorry if any of you have had bad experiences, but don't lump us all as being the same.

[Nonoluna]

Dec. 13, 2009 at 1:36 PM

I really appreciate this. I had a midwife (hospital birth) but my care was transferred to the hospital staff who helped bring my daughter into this world safely. My midwife was still part of the process but she was not allowed (under Ontario law) to handle the dripline, never mind the forceps.

I have known women who felt forced into c-sections or epidurals but I've also heard my share of women complain that they didn't get a c-section or epidural. When your labour and delivery doesn't go as planned, it's an emotional trauma. Anger is part of the grieving process and unfortunately, the hospital staff are common targets.

Hopefully, I never got angry with the staff although I had one nurse who was very uncommunicative (which made me fearful) and stern. Things weren't going well and we needed compassion and reassurance. It was a very busy night on the floor and they were all running all night. Generally, the staff were fantastic but the actions of the one are clearer than the others which is unfortunate.

[RNsteph]

Dec. 13, 2009 at 4:18 PM

My own mother had a tough birth experience.  She was only 19 years old when I was born and she was alone (prior to husbands or family being allowed in), in a room with another woman in labor, who was screaming.  My poor mother was scared to death and her nurse told her to "stop crying", very sternly.  Where the heck was the love?

Funny thing is, years later, I met the nurse who took care of my mother...and she was indeed a tough old broad!  She has since died.

I would like to think that overall, nurses are more compassionate.  For some reason, they still can be very stern, but I know that those of us who work on my unit work very hard to be kind and caring.

(Original Poster)

[LorelNicolette]

Mar. 24, 2010 at 12:38 AM

It really stinks that you have to be on the receiving end of this.  From what I see of you on Cafemom you seem like a great nurse.  You really shouldn't take it personal.

I think the frustration comes from the medical community trying to manage the process.  I know not all do it, but a lot do since there are other patients to tend to.  I just watched Pregnant and 16 on MTV and the Dr. decided to induce this young girls labor even though her body showed no signs of starting on its own.  After 18 hours the baby wasn't cooperating and she ended up with a fever.  A few hours later the baby was born via c-section.  Even the nurse said that the baby didn't like the pitocin!  I can't help but be upset for that girl who trusted her Dr. to do the right thing.  That is the kind of stuff that I find upsetting, KWIM?  There are a number of birthing shows that display similar instances.

I agree with what you said, birth is a very personal experience.  Every woman should choose an environment where she feels safe and secure.  I just wish that all involved would offer suggestions and make decisions with the patients' interest in mind.

[RNsteph]

Apr. 6, 2010 at 9:26 PM

I guess I shouldn't take it personally.  I try to have a thick skin, but I just don't.  I'm a sensitive person...but I do need to work on letting things go!

Thanks for the responses.

 

(Original Poster)