All i want for christmas is a BFP... yea a BFP...

[peaceandlove628]

Gee if I could only have a BFP, then I could be a pregnant lady!

I actually remember singing along to the "two front teeth" song when I was like 7 and actually wanting to get my two front teeth... oh if only I knew how much I could want something other than my teeth to grow in faster!    This song (my own version of it) has been running through my head for the past couple weeks.  I really wanted to write this journal though to remember a dream I had a few nights ago ( Wed. night ).  My maternal Grandma died when I was 19, about 4 years ago.  She was very very special and important to me and I think about her a lot, but I've never had a dream about her (or at least none that I remember).  Until Wednesday night...

Grandma appeared (don't remember the context) and walked up to me and asked if I had taken a pregnancy test yet this week.  I told her no, that I didn't think it was the right time (even in my dream I knew my period wasn't due for over a week).  She then said "you need to take a pregnancy tests this week."  Then I said OK and woke up.  I brushed it off, but on the off chance that I am pregnant, I want to remember this message sent from Grandma Youakim!

I love Christmas more than the average person.... I get so excited just thinking about tinsel and stockings and warm mittens and twinkly lights .... but especially excited when I think about snuggling up on the couch, looking at the tree with my husband beside, cuddled under a warm blanket.  Nothing else all year compares to that feeling.  I have always been crazy about Christmas, and I could not imagine a more wonderful or perfect time to find out we are expecting a child that Christmas!!!!  (Actually, if it were going to be absolutely perfect, I would find out on Christmas Eve!) 

I am not getting my hopes up again this month, because I can't be disappointed for 5 months straight.... especially not this time of year (I need to be HAPPY).  So I am assuming I'm not pregnant, I won't get a BFP this month, and we'll keep trying next month!  It's okay... we're very lucky and will have a wonderful Christmas no matter what.  HOWEVER, if I do find out I am pregnant this month...........................   I will be unbelievably beside myself ecstatic!!!  xoxoxoxox MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!