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Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies


1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila


Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality,pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.


Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok, try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner.


If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who geeves a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.


Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.

Cherry Mistmas !

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Comments:

Erika...
Dec. 12, 2009 at 5:10 PM

I had to read this out loud ala Foster Brooks.   I laughed the entire time.   Now I'm going to make these cookies.  ;) 

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clean...
Dec. 12, 2009 at 5:13 PM

LOL.  I was scratching my head to figure out what a peastoon was, then I read further and I got it.  I am a little slow today and I have not had any Jose.

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clare...
Dec. 12, 2009 at 6:13 PM

Bwhahahahaha

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used2...
Dec. 12, 2009 at 7:10 PM

Jeffy, I laughed out LOUD at this!! 

Now I want to make them, too.  I think we should all get together and make them as a group...or somefink.  ;)

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Servi...
Dec. 12, 2009 at 10:32 PM

Oh my gosh, that is HILARIOUS!!!  You are too funny!

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walki...
Jan. 4, 2010 at 11:03 AM

That is funny. Can u make the with  J&B Scotch Whiskies?  

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irish...
Jan. 24, 2010 at 5:35 PM

1 Tequila

2 Tequila

3 Tequila

FLOOR!

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