Continously running journal- update 12/14/09

[PollyMarie]

12/14
I went to the doctor this morning and after 37 days of preterm labor, doc wants me to tuff it out another week.  I don't know if I can do it.  I can't sleep at night due to contractions.  My back hurts so bad from all the contractions.  I can hardly sit, stand or lay down.   I'm in constant physical pain, not just during contractions.  I can't do this much longer.  I'm not sure if I can do it another week.  I'm physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.  I'm sleep deprived!  I don't care about the holidays or feel like doing anything with the holidays. I'm miserable and want this to be over.

12/13

Tomorrow I go for hopefully my final doctor's appointment.  I made it to 37 weeks!  I've made it longer than we originally though I would.  We hoped I would make it to 34 and it looked very doubtful that I would and now her I am at 37 weeks.  We are so pleased.  I have been in very slow progressive labor for 36 days today.  As of this past Monday I was thinned out and at 5cm.  We know I will not make it to 40.  At tomorrow's appointment we are suppose to set up when we are going to do the induction.  It is suppose to be sometime this week.  We are hoping for Tuesday the 15 for a multitude of reasons.  Tuesday will make 200 days that DH has been sober!  I always try to do something special for him every 50 days of sobriety and I can't think of anything better than to give him the baby we have wanted and tried 9 years to have.  Then the 16th is his grandmother's (Phyllis) birthday.  The 17th is his uncle's (Travis) birithday.  The 18th will be our 11th wedding anniversary.  This week we have so much to celebrate.  We are very excited and hope to find out tomorrow when Miss Bellamie Mashay will make her debut into the world.  We are hoping for a healthy baby.  This pregnancy has been so rough but it will all be worth it when I get to hold the little girl that I have dreamed of for so long.  I will keep everyone posted as soon as I can. Let's hope if I break down and take the medicine it doesn't react violently to me.  Ladies, I really do appreciate all the support, encouragement, positive thoughts, advice, prayers and ears to listen as I have made my way through this journey.  If I can ever be there for you all you have to do is ask.

 

12/7

Wow, after all that has happened I went to the doctor today and for once got all good results!  I had protein in my urine this time last week when I my contractions were 2 minutes apart and it is all gone!  My cervix is thinned out from my understanding completely.  It was 80% the other day.  The doctor wouldn't tell me how dialated I was but the other day I was 3 and today he showed me how big around the opening was and it was 4+.  The doctor said that next week if I haven't delivered by then that he will induce me if I want him to.  I will be having Bellamie Mashay next week at the latest.  I can't take this anymore.  I've had a problem with my SI joint (a joint in my lower back) and the contractions are causing it to send pain down my right leg.  I'm also afraid that if I continue to wait that the protein will show back up in my urine and pre-e may show up.  I will be 37 weeks next week!

 

12/3

You all know what a battle I've had with this pregnancy and the 27 days of preterm labor.  Last night I felt very nauseas and my stomach (actually the organ not my abdomen in general) ached.  I kept waking up during the night with contractions.  I'm so used to having them anymoe that I didn't worry about timing them.  I just figured I would time them whenI woke up this morning.  Well I did.  This morning they were 3-5 minutes apart.  Been there, done that before and then the early labor would stall.  Throughout the day I would occasionally time them.  Right now the contractions are regularly 2-3 minutes apart!  I'm not getting excited yet, hopeful yes.  I'm hoping that this time the labor won't stall.  I know I'm going to get a bunch of comments that says "You need to go to the hospital!" but I've been this close before and they tucker out so I'm trying to wait and see.  The contractions are not painful, only uncomfortable and my water hasn't broke yet.  My DH works about 35 minutes away and gets off work tonight at 8:30 so I'm hoping to hold off going to the hospital until then unless I have to sooner.  If it hasn't tuckered out by that time then I will go.  That will be up the Bellamie and my crazy body.  We know that I'm at least 35 weeks and 3 days but possibly even further along.  She's measuring about 7 pounds now, her head measures 38 wks and so many days, her abdomen is 37 weeks and so many days and her legs are measuring 36 wks and so many days and I've had the steriod shots just in case.  It's not like I'm hoping to deliver early a tiny preterm baby.  We (DH, I and the doctor) are almost certain that I'm further along than 35 weeks and 3 days but we go by that measure to be on the low end and be safe as well as prepared.  I'm so tired of this preterm labor that I hope this is the real thing.  Please keep your fingers crossed for me that it does not stall this time.

UPDATE- We've stalled again.  The contractions are back up to 3-5 minutes apart and the contractions have stopped gaining strength.  I didn't go to the hospital because all they are going to do is stap me to the bed so I can't get up to move around and keep trying to give me drugs.  I'm not saying I'm refusing medicine but I don't see the point in taking the medicine when I am coping just fine as it is.  I expect to require pitocin to get the contractions strong enough to deliver.  My body simply doesn't work the way it is suppose to, it never has so why should I expect anything else this time?  I guess I will be this way the next 10ish days when my dr has agreed to induce me.  It will put all this to a grand total of about 41 days of labor.  I'm so tired emotionally, mentally and I'm getting there physically.  What may end up happening is I keep putting off going to the hospital because I don't feel that I'm progresing and for once my body will do what it is suppose to and I will deliver at home.  My DH would die, lol.  That would be my luck...

 

11/29

After all I have been through with this pregnancy I thought that after I made it to 34 weeks I should have smooth sailing but now I'm having symptoms of kidney stones for the second time this pregnancy.  Enough is enough!  I can't take it anymore!  I can't wait for this pregnancy to be over!  I just want to hold my little girl and know she is okay before my body keeps it up until it does something to harm her! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! 

 

11/19

Ladies, I am very thankful for each of you that lends an ear, advice, support, happy ending stories, and encouragement. Right now I need each of these. As most of you know it has been a battle to keep this pregnancy going. I went into preterm labor Nov 8 at 31 weeks 5 days to begin with. Nothing has been able to stop labor but we are not progressing quickly either. I was released to go home and take it easy. I did. On Nov 14 my DH had to take me back to the hospital to have an emergcy gallbladder removal. In the hospital we continued to fight contractions. I went home on Nov. 16. On Nov 17 my contractions got harder. One contraction lasted 18 minutes. Several others lasted 4-5 minutes. My dear MIL that was staying with me to help me after the gallbladder removal. That night my MIL took me back to the hospital. I spent the night while taking extrememly small doses of meds to stop labor. Still I continued to contract but not regularly and at varying strenghts. My doctor came in on Wednesday morning to examine me. I have now dialated to 3cm and 80% thinned. None of the medicine had stopped the contractions. I was given my first dose of steroids. Since I am still in the 33rd week he told me that we could not deliver there because the pediatricians would not be able to care for the baby before the 34th week. My doctor made arrangements for me to be transferred to Charlotte Medical Center. I arrived at CMC and after seeing humpteen doctors and nurses they made a plan of action. They decided to begin high doses of Procardia along with other meds I was already on, prevenative antibiotics and an antifungal due to all the antibiotics I'm on causing a yeast infection. I was suppose to take two Procardia pills every 30 minutes for 3 hours and then 2 pills every 3 hours after that. The nurse gave me the first dose. She was to be back in 30 minutes to give me the second dose. Thankfully she was late. 35 minutes after I took the first dose of Procardia my head began to pound, my vision blurred, all I could hear was blood rushing though my ears, I had difficulty breathing, contractions soared, I began to shake and to burn up. I pressed the nurses button and told them I wasn't feeling well. Within a couple of minutes my room was filled with doctors and nurses surrounding me giving me injections and working to figure out what was happening to me. I heard one of the nurses say my heart rate was 170 something and that my blood pressure was 98/58 (my bp always runs lower than what others call normal). As soon as the Benedryl began to take affect the medical team decided I was allergic to the Procardia. Still my heart was beating fast and within 2 minutes I had an EKG performed on me. My heart was fine and all the other reactions were due to my allergy to Procardia. Still I continued to contract with no change to my cervix. If I get up to go to the bathroom my contractions come back but as long as I lay still, after a few minutes the contractions smooth out and occur occasionally. Im on bedrest in the hospital with bathroom priviledges. On a good note, I had another ultrasound done. My DD measures 35-36 weeks (hopefully my doctor missed my due date due to my PCOS) and weighs 5 lb. 11 oz! She is doing great with all of this. I was given the second shot of steroids this morning and trying to naturally keep labor slow. No walking, using gravity to help keep her off my cervix to help slow dialiation until after Sat when the steroids have had time to work. The doctors are not giving me any answers and its driving me crazy! The only thing they are saying is that I may be here a while. How many of you have had your due date to be 3 weeks off? After your baby was given steroids, were they okay? Will giving a baby that is already well developed steroids hurt the baby in anyway? I'm so frustrated right now. I just want to go home. I don't want to be in the hospital for Thanksgiving. If my baby is fine and everything indicates that she is why won't they let me go ahead and have her as soon as the steroids have had time to work? They are doing nothing at this point but making me lay here until I deliver which could be weeks away when I can do that at home. I want her home safe with me. I know that sounds awful but continuously contracting for two weeks can't be good on her or me. The fights out of me and I just want this pregnancy to be over.

Update:
I called my regualr ob/gyn today and spoke with him since he was the one that sent me here and I trust his judgement.  He said the original plan was to stabalize me and get me past 34 weeks and if I'm doing good to release me.  After that point he can deliver the baby and the pedatricians at that hospital can care for my baby.  When I see a doctor here again I am going to start pushing for that.  When I get home if my water breaks or I go into hard labor I will be able to go the hospital, ob/gyn and nurses that I know, love and trust.  Until my doctor comes back in I am convinced that they don't have a plan except to let me lay here until I go stir crazy and finally deliver.

Update 2:
Since the doctors could not give me any of the meds to stop labor and I had received the steroid shots and had given them time to work, the high risk doctors and my ob/gyn decided I could go home to wait it out.  I am only 7 minutes from the hospital and I feel a million times better being at home.  My DH and I are pleased to be able to deliver at the hospital we want with the doctor that we want.  I'm hanging in there trying to take it one day at a time.  I have another doctors appointment tomorrow so hopefully I will get some more news.  I will update as soon as I can.

Update 3:
Just got back from the doctor.  No change!  We are holding steady right now!

Update 4: If I didn't have enough on my plate already, Saturday night a kidney stone started hurting me.  The pain got so bad last night that I called my ob/gyn at home (yes he loves his patients enough to give them his home phone number).  I told him I knew there wasn't anything they could if I went to the ER but give me pain med and since I had an appointment with him this evening I was trying to hold off.  He asked me what pain medicine I had at home and I'm one of the few people that can honestly say nothing but nonasprin and aleve, lol.  He told me to take 4 aleve every 4 hours until I get to see him this evening.  About an hour ago I started thowing up from the kidney stone pain.  Now I can't keep anything down.  Its only a couple hours until I see my dr.  I'm now 35 weeks pregnant but now the doctors are thinking I may be further along since she is measuring so big.  I'm afraid my body is going to keep it up until it does something to hurt my baby.  I've made it this far.  I wish my doctor would go ahead and induce me before my body hurts my baby.  That is my biggest fear.

Update 5- 24 hours and 2 kidney stones later I am back home and still in very slow labor.  When I left the hospital my contractions were 5-7 minutes apart.  The good news is that I now have a light at the end of the tunnel.  My doctor is going to induce me when I'm 37 weeks (about Dec 15!) if I haven't had her already.  The nurses think they will see me before the 15th.  I sure hope they are right!  Thanks ladies for you all your emails, comments, and prayers.  It really does mean alot to us.  Now, time to go shopping and get some walking in.  If she's ready she will come and if she's not I need the excercise anyway, lol.

Update 6- Last night was a rough night.  I kept waking up with contractions.  This morning they are right at 3 minutes apart.  I'm not getting anxious or anything because I have been here many times before.  My water has not broke and I don't find it painful at all. I just feel lots of pressure.  I was sick to my stomach last night and it ached something awful.  I'm trying to wrap presents and see what happens.

If Bellamie holds off until tomorrow she will born on Paw Kelly's (my grandfather) 89th birthday. For me that is bittersweet. A special (no other way to say it) man whose mind has been robbed by Alzheimer's would have a great granddaughter born on his birthday that he will never be able to remember. If there is any truth to zodiac and astrology and she is anything like Paw Kelly life will be interesting. He's a brilliant man, very creative, inventive, high energy level, happy, friendly, kind, and he has an intelligence and way of thinking that would make you believe he has so much more than a 6th grade education with an 8th grade GED.  I'm a little partial though.  He and Maw Kelly raised me when I was very young and I was always a Paw Kelly's girl.

 

11/17

As most of you already know I was struggling with my gallbladder hoping to make it until 34 weeks before the doctors had to do anything.  This past Saturday I started feeling very sick.  Saturday night DH had to take me to the hospital and I was admitted not only for the gallbladder but I was having contractions too.  The contractions stopped (for a little while) but the gb didn't let up all night.  Sunday morning I awoke to the news that the OR team had already been called in and I was on my way to surgery.  I am very thankful to have the ob/gyn that I have.  He went into the OR with me to make sure that everything went smoothly for my baby and to deliver immediately if he needed to.  I came out of recovery to discover that my baby had done great through surgery and they did not have to take her.  I also woke to discover nurses standing all around me propping me up trying to at least slow down contractions.  My ob/gyn came in and told me that if I can make it another week he will not stop labor again.  I am spending my time laying down mainly on my left side trying to slow contractions.  My MIL has came from 4 hours away to stay with me this week.  She thought last night we were going to have to go back to the hospital because the contractions got 5 min apart if I stood or was walking.  I am very sore and baby is pushing up under my incisions which puts me in a great deal of pain.  Please keep your fingers crossed for me that I am able to hold off contractions until Tuesday (11/24/09).  We would appreciate it!

 

11/2

I went on Halloween for my 3D/4D ultrasound.  The baby is 100% without a doubt a girl.  That was the very first thing she showed us.  There she was spread eagle for all the world to see, lol.  Later she crossed her legs and folded up.  She looks just like me.  I think my husband is a little disappointed that he gets a mini me out of all this, lol. 

I had to go back to the doctor today.  My gallbladder is killing me.  My ob/gyn said that if I (or I should say the gallbladder) can hold off for 3 more weeks then he can take Bellamie so the surgeon can take out the gallbladder.  He is afraid I will start running a fever or a stone get lodged.  It becomes more painful as Bellamie gets bigger.  I will be 34 weeks in 3 weeks.  What experiences have you had with babies born at 34 weeks?    I know she is a big chubby baby already.  She is very healthy the best the doctors can tell with her still inside me.  My doctor has always said, "Baby is fine.  Mommy is not."  The last time doc measured her she was 2 above the mean and said that means she will be a big baby.  Any info or advice would be much appreciated.    I am trying to figure out what I can expect.  How long should she be in the hospital?  What heath problems could we be facing? After 9 years of trying to conceive and 2 miscarriages I am about to get her and I'm scared to death of loosing her.