I got a kick out of this, lol.  I love the way it's written, lol.  Wish I could claim it as my own, but it's not my work :).

EDIT: this may or may not have been written to Dr. Laura... either way, take the message for what it's worth - don't let the "source" get in the way, lol.  Some sources claim this letter was written to someone else, but the message is a general one for everyone who reads it.


Dr Laura Schlessinger ("Dr Laura") broadcasts a 3 hour long, radio program each weekday on a network of over 500 radio stations in the U.S. and Canada and has an estimated audience of 20 million people. She holds a Ph.D. in physiology (study of the functions of living matter), not psychology as some assume.

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger has said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response was posted on the internet and is best regarded as an essay clearly meant for a wider audience than just Dr Laura. It is a general reminder that many belief systems pick and choose their way through biblical teachings in determining what is "right" and "wrong". Authorship has been attributed to several, but remains unconfirmed.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbours. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.Exodus 35:2. Clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.



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Comments:

Kerri...
Dec. 22, 2009 at 3:48 AM

This is not funny. Who ever wrote this has took an interpretation of the Bible and translated it into making fun of someone's beliefs. This angered me as a Christian. 

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mamap...
Dec. 22, 2009 at 4:05 AM

Actually, what this person did is put out onto the table what a lot of people do - and that is to pick and choose from a book what they'll believe and what they won't... which is harmless, I suppose, unless you use one of your "picks" to blatantly condemn a group of people. 

If you're telling someone that they're going to Hell because of one Bible verse, you'd better be prepared to have some other verses tossed up and possibly condemn YOU (general YOU, not any YOU in particular).  I think it's very poignant... and even if snopes says it's untrue that this is about Dr. Laura (who I really dislike, btw, because she's damned cold), the sentiment remains true.

And the fact remains, the way it's written is funny, lol.  But humor is subjective, I can accept that, lol.

(P.S.  I'm a Christian, if that matters... which it shouldn't, lol)

 

 

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Simpl...
Dec. 22, 2009 at 7:22 AM

I love it!!  Just goes to show, by some of the comments you've already gotten here, that some people just don't GET IT!  And it scares me to think that they may never.

If just ONE person who is so against gay marriage would please answer 2 questions for me honestly and openly, maybe I would give them more than the right to be stupid.

Question 1: Since you think being gay is a CHOICE, can you tell me the date and time YOU decided you wanted to be heterosexual? Sounds logical to me that if it's a choice to be gay, it's a choice NOT TO, right?

Question 2: Why do you think it is a comment on YOUR marriage if 2 men or 2 women are married to one another? If Sally and Jim live together without marriage that is no comment on my marriage to my husband. If Sally and Alice get married, same outcome on my life.  I think people need to mind their OWN business for a minute.

I have yet to have either of those questions answered.  Good thing I don't hold my breath for these things. Blue looks HORRID on me.

Thanks for the giggle! :)  I hope it makes a few people THINK FOR THEMSELVES---they might be slightly surprised at how easy that process actually is!

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MKSmom09
Dec. 22, 2009 at 7:58 AM

That's funny! The author of that letter certainly had right to be confused, lol

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sati7...
Dec. 22, 2009 at 8:49 AM

rolling on floori am peeing myself laughing

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octav...
Dec. 22, 2009 at 10:04 AM

This is not funny. Who ever wrote this has took an interpretation of the Bible and translated it into making fun of someone's beliefs. This angered me as a Christian. 

I totally agree not funny at all! As a Christian I feel the same way! Its Good to see a True Christian not compromising her beliefs

Galatians 6:7

 

 7Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.wink

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Jewel...
Dec. 22, 2009 at 10:15 AM

I thought this was funny myself, but then I can't stand Dr Laura. 

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gemin...
Dec. 22, 2009 at 10:16 AM

as a christian I find this entertaining, because I have always been  taught that the old testament laws no longer apply.  After Jesus died for our sins we no longer had to live that way.  So I know its all just exaggerated.  Also I appreciate the humor for what its meant to be. 

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Lindalu2
Dec. 22, 2009 at 10:59 AM

Thank you for posting that!  It is wonderful and it clearly illuistrates that one must be discerning and rational when dealing with the Bible-both the Old and New Testaments as they are obviously created by mere mortals, men with agendas . Those who do not "get it" are not thinking rationally but they are following like sheep and obeying the words from antiquity . In other words, it doesn't make sense...at all.

The humor in this is priceless! wink mini

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heath...
Dec. 22, 2009 at 11:03 AM

This made me giggle.  I am going to have to 'steal'.  Thank you for posting.

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