What is this Obsession with Sleeping Through the Night!?

[amileegirl]

I get this all the time..."Is she sleeping through the night?"  

As if an answer of "no" means she's a bad baby.     I don't expect my baby to sleep 8 hours at a time at her age.  If I get 3 hours a stretch that's okay.  If she sleeps a 4 hour stretch I'm appreciative.  Any more than that is a shocker.  When she was under 8 weeks old, I had no expectations of more than 2 hours at a time.   So I consider a "sleep through" to be four hours.

I'm an adult and I wake, usually, at least once just to pee.   If I'm up and I'm thirsty I have a ddrink.  When I was pregnant, I could get a snack.  If I'm cold I wake to cuddle with my husband.   If I'm hot I wake to adjust blankets or remove pajamas.   Why would I expect a baby not to do these things!?

They have smaller stomachs and more of a need to have human contact which they cannot get on their own.   Of COURSE, they are going to wake up!      Babies don't even sleep like adults do.  They have different lengths of sleep cycles and spend far more time in light sleep than deep sleep.   It would be abnormal, and dangerous, for an infant to spend too much time in deep sleep.

My obligations as a parent don't end at sundown.    

I am the one who needs to adapt, not my baby.  I chose to bring her into this world and it is my job to meet her needs -- not bend her to my will just because it would be more convenient.

I learned how to nurse lying down and sleep with her suckling.   That was not easy to do, but I put in the effort.   I get restful sleep, even if I now sleep less than before.

So to answer all of the inquiries, "Yes, my baby is a good baby.  And of course she doesn't sleep through the night!  That's a stupid question."

[kozatad]

Dec. 21, 2009 at 3:35 PM

thank god, i'm not the only one! My little angel is 10 mo old, and is still waking up both to nurse and cuddle. i am constantly fending off "helpful" advice on getting her to sleep through the night.

[katrinad]

Dec. 22, 2009 at 6:50 PM

I agree. I remember my first night home with Katrina. She slept through that night and when I woke up at 7am it freaked me out (she only did that once). Now Bella wakes up 1-4 times a night. I like it, it let's me know she is okay.

[logansmomma2007]

Dec. 23, 2009 at 10:10 AM

I will never understand it either.  It is a lot easier for us to adapt than it is for a little baby who is still so new to the world. 

[hillmom]

Jan. 1, 2010 at 12:40 AM

"I am the one who needs to adapt, not my baby.  I chose to bring her into this world and it is my job to meet her needs -- not bend her to my will just because it would be more convenient."

This is my favorite!