Santa and the Truth

[peasntatersmom]

 

So I am having this issue with my soon to be 8 yr old daughter right now.  Last year she came to me and said "I know Santa is real because you wouldn't lie to me, right Mom?"  I really wanted to tell her and have felt guilty about the "lie" since then.  A few nights ago, she came into the bathroom and sat down while I was taking off my makeup.  She said that some of the kids in her class (2nd grade) were making fun of her because she wore a santa hat to school and she believes in Santa.  Again she asks me, "Is Santa real, Mom?"  She said that one girl told her that her mom said Santa is not real, and one little boy said that he saw his dad put that money under his pillow and take his tooth too.  Ugh.  When is the right time??  She loves Santa, leaving him milk and cookies and looking forward to his visit all year.  She loves thinking about his elves making the toys and how Santa and the reindeer visit every kid in only one night.  I don't want to steal the magic of Christmas from her just yet, she is just a little girl.  But I do hate lying to her, and feel like it is going to come back to bite me in the butt one day. 

[twinsplus2more]

Dec. 21, 2009 at 8:24 PM

I have 4 children from 12 to 20 and have yet to have one of them angry because of the Santa "Myth".  The compete mystique of Santa was over when our youngest turned 10.  BUT we still do Santa and stockings in our house.  We tell them that when they no longer believe in the "Spirit" of Santa then no more stockings and no more "fun" little toys and candy which is what we put in their stockings.  By "Spirit" of Santa, I mean the spirit of giving, the story behind the Original Saint Nicholas. 

And think back to your childhood, are you mad at your parents for lying to you about Santa?

[2autisticsmom]

Dec. 21, 2009 at 8:35 PM

The spirit of Santa is very much real if you believe in it. He did live at one time and though his physical body no longer exists his spirit is allowed to live on which is how all the "magic" happens.  So physically no he doesn't, but his spirit is real. Look around and see how many people honor the spirit of giving. This is what I told my daughter when she was eight. It worked for her. You are not "lying" by saying he exists (in spirit). Only if you tell her he's a real flesh and blood person. And the fun part it covers all the mysteries of how he fits into chimney's and gets it all done in a night.

[Elyssa414]

Dec. 21, 2009 at 10:35 PM

It sounds like it's time to tell her, if her class mates are teasing her about it. I was 7 when my mom told me. You could say something like, once you know the secret, that Santa is that great feeling you get when you give someone a gift, and not an actual person, you BECOME Santa, and you get to help spread his spirit every Christmas.

She could maybe help with Jerry's "santa" gifts and feel like such a good and special big sister with her secret! :)

[miss372]

Dec. 22, 2009 at 11:09 AM

I am there with you, Jake is asking a lot of questions this year as well. He has not come straight out and asked if he was real though yet. but, I so agree with these other moms .. he does exsist in spirt of giving.. and I love that saying that santa is the great feeling of giving a gift to others and spreading christmas cheer. ... It is hard though, and I am always thinking i hope when he does know the truth, he will not spoil things for the little ones.

[jbs_mommy]

Dec. 22, 2009 at 5:59 PM

While I was angry with my parents for "lying," as a parent myself I am perpetuating the story.  I think of myself as a Santa's helper and it is more about the spirit of the season than anything.  I'd love to continue the tradition on our house for a few more years (DD is going to be four in March)

[peasntatersmom]

Dec. 24, 2009 at 8:51 AM

Thanks for everyone's replies.  This year, Allysa has Santa in her heart, and is planning to visit him today in his santa hut (where she believes the only REAL Santa visits each year).  She says she needs to tell him that her brother wants a wagon for Christmas since he was not able to write a letter.  :)  What a sweet and thoughtful child she is. 

I am afraid that this may be our last year to play Santa for her though.  She has been suspicious for the last two years and with her friends at school talking it is only a matter of time before she finds out the truth.  I want it to be us who tells her, not someone else.  I plan to try to find a way to tell her this year, and maybe she will take pleasure in being "Mama's (Santa's) Big Helper" instead,  She can help pick out stocking stuffers for herself and her brother and stay up late to fill the stockings :)

Thanks so much for all the advice, I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas!! 

(Original Poster)