Hard times with my two year old

[stephanie325]

Okay, So I have a 30 month old, and a 10 month old. When "Ant" was born, (10 month old) His older brother "Miah" was fine about it. I made sure to include him in everything and spend seperate time with just him so he didnt feel like he was being left out. Well when Ant was about 7 months Miah started being extremely mean to him. Kicking, pushing, yelling, ect. I was getting scared about it because of how mean he was being. Well He eventually got over This faze. Now he has gotten into this new faze. When I tell him to do something, and he tells me no or just ignores me, I start to count to three. If he doesnt do what he is told, He goes in the corner. Well lately he has started trying to do the same to me. He starts counting to three if I dont do something he asks. (I actually find this to be very cute) But now he is starting to scream at the top of his lungs, and throw temper tantrums. He really act's up when we go out. He throws a fit and pretty much just whines the whole time. I dont really believe in yelling. I was wondering if any other mothers out there have any advise. I am raising two children under the age of 3 by myself, and It gets really hard sometimes. Any advice would be great.

PLEASE, NO RUDE COMMENTS. I CAME HERE TO TALK, AND GET ADVISE, NOT TO BE MADE FEEL BAD. THANK YOU

[NannyB.]

Dec. 22, 2009 at 6:59 AM

He needs a good spanking.  There is simply no subsitute as a method of teaching your child to respect and obey the authority of his parents.  The earlier to start the more peaceful will be your home and you will be able to take him anywhere you want because he will know that you will spank his butt when you get him home.  It is very sad that the current thinking regarding spanking as discipline has so robbed parents of the authority and respect that is due them.  But you have to teach it.  It does not come naturally, and it really does hurt the parent more than it does the child.  The child is hurt most when spanking is neglected.

[stephanie325]

Dec. 22, 2009 at 7:09 AM

I have tried spanking, and it just makes the tantrums worse. He just starts screaming louder, and throwing himself on the floor. When I was young, My dad was the disciplinarian, and he used to bend us over the bed, or his knee, and he would use a belt. I have found that if I have him bend over, he gets the point more that I am seriouse, but it still does not stop the temper tantrums. These tantrums happen all day everyday. If a commercial comes on while he is watching wow wow, he will ask me to change it. If I tell him no, to just wait, he throws a fit. It is constant, and I am trying new things, because nothing I am doing is seeming to work. I Absolutely do not believe in using belts, or smaking in the mouth. The toosh is the only spanking he is going to get. I can yell, put him in the corner, time out, and none of it works. Sometimes I will tell him if he keeps it up, he will go to bed, he straightens up, but then it makes it hard to get him to go to bed, because he is starting to think of his room as a punishment, which is not what I want. Thank you so much for your advise. Any more would b greatly appreciated.

(Original Poster)

[MSugarKane]

Dec. 22, 2009 at 7:10 AM

Whether he had a sibling or not he would be going through this phase. Its how you react to him and deal with him is what he will learn how to handle himself.

Pick your battles first.  Sometimes these two year olds just do it for attention.  If your home and he acts up, leave the room, act very sad that he is behaving this way.    All they really want to really do is to please you by the end of the day.

If you have to deal with him right away, get down on his level and ask him what is wrong.   If he can't tell you most likely he is just doing it for your full attention and thats when you give it to him.   Sometimes during our hectic lives since these little ones have no perception of time, us, as moms, stopping, relaxing , and taking some time to just be one on one with the little one has a big effect.  

Other times (like yesterday in WalMart with my 2 yr old grandson) ignoring the behavior and going on your business works well too.   He didn't want to sit in the seat and be buckled in. He wanted to be in the back rolling around the cart.  I also had the five month old grandson in the baby seat next to him.   The 2 yr old was crying, tears rolling down his face, and of course I run into someone I know.   I just said, "Oh he is fine, he just isn';t getting his way, those tears are water works and will go away."   I turned my back on him and talked to her for a few minutes and then he was quiet.  He knows with me he isn't going to win, especially through tears and crying acts.

It takes time for the little ones to get to know what they can get away with or not from you. Be consistant and sometimes we just have to stop what we are doing and take five minutes to appease the child. 

Good luck!   Have fun with those babies!  When it gets difficult for me I start singing songs and this calms them down too.