Back to Liking Me

[Poetgal]

 Okay I know I may not realy weigh that much to some people. But to me I am getting bigger and I don't like it. After I had my last DD I never lost the weight and I am positive that I gained weight as well. I know that I am a least bigger then I need to be when my own father looks at me after coming to visit and tells me that he should bring his treadmill here for me to use. I don't like hearing things like that from people, especially my family. It makes me feel bad about myself and I just don't like it. I don't have the greatest self esteem as it is. Which with my DH you would think that I would have better esteem. He always tells me how much he likes the way I look and stuff. But I am extremely hard on myself. So I am going to do what I can to take off the weight and look better and feel better as well. I would like to like the look of myself again. I don't want to pull up my shirt and look at myself in the mirror thinking, "Oh gosh, that just looks gross and disgusting". I don't want to do that anymore. I want to lose the weight I am going to do it one way or another. I get up around 5am right now to get DH up and make sure everything is ready for him to go to work in the morning. If it comes down to it, I will get up earlier and go out for a jog in the REALLY early mornings. All I know is I have to do something. This is getting rediculous. I want to be able to look at myself and like what I see again. I want to like myself for the way I am again. I want to be healthier and feel better about myself for myself and for my family.