I don't know how to make myself feel better.

[kitten_shuga]

I guess I am the type of woman who likes to write when I am upset, and I don't usually blog here, but it is more private than myspace because I don't have all my friends over here. My problem today is me. I don't like myself very much. I am depressed, I feel like I have nothing to offer. I am tired. Mostly though, I treat my boyfriend like hell much too often. I think my bad attitude is rubbing off on him. I just feel like no matter what he is doing, he really isn't doing anything. I want some help around the house, and he only wants to do it if I am already up cleaning. I ask him to do things for me, like sit next to me on the couch and cuddle me and he will, like twice, and then it's over. Today he acted like I was trying to kill him because I made him change a poopie diaper. Gosh. See though, I know that even as I write all this I am blowing it out of proportion, because in reality, he is a great, wonderful man who deserves better than what I give him. I don't ever want to have sex, even when I do I don't, it's so hard to get a shower with a baby in the house (I guess I should be showering right now huh). I don't cook, like, hardly ever. I have been making an effort to keep the house clean, but only because I am so tired of it looking like hell all the time. I am more of the problem than anything else, it's me, and I know it, so why can't I just be nice to him? Why do I feel like he is out to hurt me. Why does it feel like he doesn't want to help me feel better? I am so tired of things the way they are, but I don't know how to make myself feel better. I don't know how... PLease feel free to comment...

[greentreeorchid]

Jan. 5, 2010 at 10:46 PM

sounds like right now your in one hell of a mess with yourself... first of all ... stop for a minute to breathe... sometimes that helps all on its own... i don't have the answers to your questions... i struggle with the same ones myself at times... some times you just gotta decide enough is enough and start some where ... whether it be ... a shower ... or some you time or a walk ... whatever you need you will find it ... i guess ... just try and slow down so you don't miss it... 

i know this wasnt much help... but then again i've been wrong before... hang in there momma ... youll make it through

[BritleyH]

Jan. 5, 2010 at 10:54 PM

this is tough, i definitely know where you are coming from with a lot of this.  i just had my first baby 5 weeks ago and trying to juggle the newness of motherhood, my baby, housework, my relationship and myself has been a real struggle.  i do the same thing to my man too sometimes and give him a really hard time and then end up feeling really bad about it.  i think you should really try to not be so hard on yourself, i know that it is a lot easier said than done but sometimes when you stop trying so hard is when you start to see the biggest changes. best of luck!

[NolaMama313]

Jan. 6, 2010 at 12:13 AM

Do some exercise or take a hot bath (you can put baby in a bouncer in the bathroom with you) that always makes me feel better, do something that makes you feel good. You can't be good to anyone else if yor not good to yourself.

Hope you feel better soon. 

 

[Lb128f]

Jan. 6, 2010 at 1:34 AM

I'm sorry. How old is your baby...could you have PPD? Have you talked with your Doc?

[Bradensmommy719]

Jan. 13, 2010 at 11:19 PM

sweetheart i so know how you feel! i feel the same way most the time... which is said to say cuz bean is almost 2! i love you and you know that if you need me call or text me. i have nothing better to do.... kinda glad i have my comp back i have missed you!