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To feel no pain.
- Jan 7, 2010 at 1:34 PM
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- Comments (6) Total Views (304) Everyone can see this journal post.
This morning I woke up, feeling great. For the first time since March, 2008- I wasn't in pain. :-) What a great day it is.
Actually, I am still a little sore- you see, I had a hysterectomy one week ago. On New Years. Which also happens to be my birthday. *sigh*
But it was totally worth it.
Back in February, 08, I begun feeling crampy. An achy crampiness that one normally feels prior to beginning their period. Not full out cramps, just that initial body ache you know its coming grab the chocolate cookies and salted chips kinda feeling. This was, of course, normal. I am female, after all. I wasn't expecting it at the time though, as my new baby was only 5 months old and I was nursing exclusively.
I know that nursing does not always mean that our wonderfully horrid dear Aunt Flo stays away for ever- but with my previous children, she stayed away for 9 and 10 months. I was just hoping she'd stay away longer with the third child as well. Feeling as I did, I awaited the inevitable. But, it never came.
For weeks I waited, still continuously feeling crampy. I carried materials with me, waiting... and waiting... and waiting. Still, nothing happened. I was growing grumpy from the constant ickiness that I felt and stress from awaiting the arrival. Sadly, for me- the arrival is never anything but a grandiose affair. Never any warning or build up... just a sudden- bam. Welcome Flo, glad you are here. (not really) Which, is partially why it was so stressful waiting. I had the only forewarning I've ever known... and now it wasn't telling me anything.
Then, one day the pain started. It was a sharp, quick and short pain. Piercing through me. It was hard to explain, still is actually, but I knew it wasn't good. The first few times it happened, over the course of a couple days, I figured it was something off. I pulled- tore- who knows what to something. But, it kept happening. Every day- multiple times per day. Never lasting long, never staying- just piercing through me as though I was being stabbed.
I went to the doctor unsure of what to even complain about. I knew something was wrong, I feared that something was wrong... but what?
I was ordered into an ultrasound immediately. Nothing showed up. The doctor wasn't happy, and wanted more specific ones done. Yay for probing ultrasounds in the vaginal cavity. Those are a hoot, let me tell you.
Still, nothing.
I went in for a CT scan. That was even more fun that the probing.
and still, nothing.
By this time another month had passed and the pains were still happening, multiple times every day. I was still feeling crampy, all the time and I had yet to have restarted my cycles. Was it all in my head?
Finally, the last time I met with my original doctor, she sadly said she had no idea. However, she was certain that everything else looked good and I needed to see a OB/GYN specialist and gave me a number of a person she really liked.
Off I went, well... actually, most of you probably know how it works to get an appointment with an ob/gyn. You call, you make an appointment for SOMETIME in the future, and then you wait. I finally get to meet the doctor who tells me that he's going to retire soon and is no longer taking on cases that appear long term.
What?
Thanks.
He apologizes and nicely makes me an appointment with another doctor for that afternoon.
I go in and explain everything to her in detail. She checks me out, orders a complete blood work (already been done many times) and decides to do her own probing ultrasound. Everything seems fine to her.
She sends me out and about for many for tests and procedures, all which come back negative. She's stumped and I'm going crazy... or was beginning to think I already was and that there wasn't really any pain at all! Maybe I was insane. But, tell that to me when I was doubled over and teary eyed from the pain. Again, it was happening many times every single day. That, and I WAS STILL CRAMPY! Nothing would make it stop, nothing relaxed my lower back. I was continuously grumpy, not sleeping well and overall- hating life.
Nearly a year since my first appointment, I go in for a laproscopic porcedure. The doctor actually goes in with cameras and does a check. They are looking for signs of endometriosis, scaring and/or scar tissue. Still, nothing. In fact, she says that everything looks great and healthy. I get to look at the pictures and we discuss new options.
By this point, I have actually started my cycles. Which have turned from a hassle to an out right nightmare. It is decided that the problem must be with in the inside of my uterus or more specifically, the lining in there that is causing me so much grief.
Finally, a diagnosis. Adenomysosis.
It mostly fit. However, my uterus looked fine. Small, actually. Not enlarged or hard like it says in the description. Also, if you read the article... it really makes it seem like it is no big deal at all.
Actually, my doctor didn't think so either. She knew a great fix. I just needed to get a Mirena IUD. Simple and perfect. Plus, this great form of birth control had the added benefit of shortening or eliminating periods. What more could I ask for?
I was excited. I had to wait 10 days for them to order me one and went in happily.
I did not exit the same way that I entered. It was HORRIBLE. The doctor even commented that I should not be in so much pain, most people do not even notice it going in! Not me... I nearly flew off the table it was so bad. Tears ensued. To be honest, I really have a high pain tolerance. Needles, blood tests or the like- do not bother me. So for this, to be that bad... really told me something. I was informed that it would take some time for it all to adjust and I might feel some crampiness for the next couple of days.
Crampiness my &*@(#. That is not what I felt. I hurt. I was in agony. 2 days passed when I said enough, I was going in the next day. Alas, it started to fade the next day and I regained my composure. It was going to work.
Right from the start, it was all wrong. What I was certain of was that the problem WAS in fact with my uterus. The pain and cramping that I experienced with the IUD was very localized and in the same place as the sharp sudden pains that plagued me. This was the problematic place. But, the pain did not stop- it got worse. It happened much more frequently with much more force. It happened multiple times in a row, many many more times during the course of every single day.
I went back for my mid-way check up. I was informed that it would take 6 months for my body to fully acclimate to the IUD. The first 2 months were riddled with constant "spotting" (more like little mini visits from my dear ol' non-friend flo). The doctor told me everything looked good and that the pains may not stop yet because I really did have to wait the full 6 months to know. *sigh* I knew, by this point, that it wasn't working and it was getting worse.
I did happen to have a small break- for 3 months, no flo! She was gone. Also, during this time period the constant cramping that I had felt for so long had, at last, stopped. It was nice. :-)
Then, month 6 came and flo reappeared. 19 days she stayed. I was scheduled to go to the doctor, but I had to reschedule my appointment because I got a bad bug. There was no way I could go in... so, I waited for my rescheduled appointment. I had to miss that one too, my mother was in a terrible accident and I had to fly out and be with her. I again rescheduled. It seems everyone loves my doctor, she is hard to see. I waited another full month before I could get in again.
I cried when I went in. It was bad, I hurt and the pains were getting worse. She said I had a couple of choices, pain management or surgery being the top two.
I chose surgery.
I didn't really want to go in and have a body part removed. There are many risks and complications that could arise from this choice. But I couldn't deal with it any more and medications are not high on my list of "coping" mechanisms.
I went in early in the morning. The procedure was quick and I was on my feet that afternoon. They kept me overnight, sent me home and now... one week later, I am not in pain. I haven't had any pains since late in the night of December 30th. In the past week, my body has been quite sore and healing... but today, I awoke feeling great. I am not crampy and I have not had any pains.
Life is good.
and you know that pesky Aunt Flo?
She can shove it. :-)
Comments:
I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that pain, I am really happy to hear that you are doing so much better and get to say good by to aunt Flo.Just to let you know that Rod actually has a Aunt Flo,sorry I was laughing so hard over that knowledge because you know damn well someone is snickering over her name. Sorry got off track it's sad that you had to go through all of that for so long going through test after test just to be told there is nothing wrong. When I finally had my hysterectomy they found my uterus was rotting but it never showed on their stupid tests which meant that nothing was wrong with me. Our bodies are telling us something is wrong now how in the hell can we get the doctors to listen.
Aunt Flo is a bitch. Glad to see you pout a restraining order out on her. LOL
Carmin, I am so glad you are not in pain. Good riddance to Aunt Flo!
I had a hysterectomy as well , about 8 years ago now because of andimyosis, my doctor was not so understanding though at the time and I had to fight him tooth and nail. I know of alot of women who thought haveing a hysterectomy was the worst thing, but that wasn't my experience once I got over the post surgery stuff which took about 3 weeks I felt better than I ever had and was so glad I did it. Glad you are feeling better .
hi friend:
i am glad that you are not in pain anymore. i am glad that you are free and you can live your life. aunt flo is a batch. im proud of u.
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I am glad you are feeling so much better. It makes me feel better about my possibilities.
- Rebeccalynn_dj
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