I want my husband to get out!!!!!!!!

[mommyonetheedge]

My marriage is really going to have to come to an end.  But I have one problem - he won't get out.

Tell me a way to get him the hell out of this house.  He leaves and comes back.  He doesn't want to listen to me.  He won't be rational.  He just wants to make everything hard for me.  I'm afraid he's going to make it hard for my children.  He won't just go with dignity.  He insists that he loves me - but he makes me miserable.  I know what I want - but he just keeps making things harder than they have to be.  Can't he just go.  He doesn't really like me that much anyway.  He's said it before - does he really think I wouldn't remember those things.  He thinks I believe him when he says he just said those things when he was thinking crazy.  Well, I don't forget anything!  Well, at least not things that hurt me.

I am SO SO SO unhappy!  And I'm too scared to be strong.  I'm so worried that whatever I do will hurt my girls.  I'm so worried that this mess will scar them for life or something.  He keeps making things so difficult.  I don't want to get into screaming matches.  I wish I had confidence to just put my foot down and make demands.  I'm so broke too.  It does not help my resolve to get him out when I don't know if I can pay my bills without his contribution. 

You should see how ridiculous I look.  Well, actually you shouldn't.  I look like hell.  The last three years have made me look about 10 years older.  I'm disgusted - and especially the last two days.  I look like I'm about ready to break into a thousand pieces.

Aaahhhh!!!!

[suzziesofa]

Jan. 7, 2010 at 7:24 PM

oh bless you, you need to pack his clothes and take them to a relative yourself he may feel like you mean it, also you could look for another place and maybe move out.. finally make yourself look lovely dont crumble shine through this stage, your kids will be fine they bounce back like balls each and every time.

i grew up in a home with arguing parents and wouldnt let my kids see this they do but not like i did, im a second time around mum be strong its nice being single youll meet again with someone like me,and be happy again you just cant see it right now..start the  new year off with this advise be strong.

[inthefuture]

Jan. 7, 2010 at 8:07 PM

Sorry things are so bad! You have to do what is best for you and your children,I agree with the above poster pack his things and drop them off somewhere so he knows you don't want him anymore! Good luck!

[tikigoddess]

Jan. 7, 2010 at 8:21 PM

God, B, oddly you sound a lot like me! not exactly but a lot! I am totally commiserating with you on this point!

 If (and that's a BIG IF!) I had a job or a close place to stay, I would take the children and go.  But - I don't.  So I keep my mouth shut and put up with crap.  My husband and I argue so much and it's totally wearing me out.  After knowing him for 15 years, I've come to the conclusion we're just two different people.  Meant to be friends maybe, but I'm so totally not in love with him. 

I pray that your situation is easier than mine and you get the house for the kids' sake. 

My motto is:  it's better to have two parents who get along separately than two parents who fight together constantly.

Prayers for you sweetie!  Remember; it WILL get better but only if you let it!