The need for validation

[soyousay]

I have been reading CafeMom for a while without being a member.  I recently joined.  I have noticed that in the past month, there is a very vocal group of Moms that seem to have an intense need of validation.  They post journal after journal, question after question trying to fugure out why everyone does not see things their way.  They fail to understand that parenting is so personal that there is not a one size fits all to most parenting quandries.  One claims to have lost sleep over the fact that some women formula feed by choice. Another is pleading for help on how to convince a friend to not have their child cry it out.  Still another Mom thinks sending your child to Public School is the same as throwing your child to the wolves.  I wonder why these woman need the validation of their beliefs so badly.  What is missing in your life that you have to be right for ALL, why can't your way be right for you without having to be right for everyone.  What is so terribly threatening about opposing views that the whole group of these woman swoop in on the posts and beat the opposing view into the ground?  Why do the post always end with the questioning of the opposing views intellect.  Parenting is personal, share your experience, share your insight, share your frustrations, but please, if you are so insecure that your beliefs can not be challenged- refrain from posting.

[my4pinkroses]

Jan. 18, 2010 at 3:52 PM

[pomeroyz]

Jan. 18, 2010 at 3:53 PM

this is the best journal entry I have ever read on here.  THANK YOU!!

[HeatherReneeB]

Jan. 18, 2010 at 3:57 PM

Well, that 's the thing with public forums.. anyone can post anything they like.  :) 

[ryannic]

Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:06 PM

Well said!!

[Roisin07]

Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:10 PM

This happens with every subject on cafemom. Whether its religion, parenting, or whatever belief or thought someone discusses. Someone has to be right instead of open to other thoughts. I have my own thoughts and beliefs on things, but would never criticize another for theirs. Its sad really that this goes on like that. I'm all for a debate on something, but don't make someone feel like shit cause they don't believe what you do.

Good post..Thanks

[soyousay]

Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:26 PM

roisin- I agree, there is a huge difference between debate and beating someone down!  I grow from hearing other views- especially ones I disagree with!  I live in a middle-class/middle of the road suburb- we tend to all think pretty similar so its great to hear from the struggling Mom on why food stamps are a life saver or from the victim of abuse on why keeping the US pro-choice is important to her so she does not have a child with her abuser.  I may not agree with these things, but their points are things I may have never thought about...

(Original Poster)