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Do you hear the words that are coming out of my MOUTH?
- Jan 19, 2010 at 8:54 AM
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- Comments (83) Total Views (3679) Everyone can see this journal post.
Time to get the bottom of this. The butt of the problem being--I seem to have children born without ears.
There are three scenarios that could be at play here. One, being the worst, actually. It is a very real possibility that my children have hearing issues. My family has hereditary hearing loss, on my mother's side, that usually results in late-onset deafness. However, there have been children that have worn hearing aids as young as 5. So, when my kids do not so much as twitch when we speak to them, we all look at each other with a raised brow (we all share the same raised brow) and wonder if it's time for hearing tests for the youngins.
Secondly, I could be mistaken that we are all speaking the same language. I assumed we were. There have been moments where true communicaton between myself and these small people actually seemed to take place. But, in general, I don't think we are, because if we were, then when I say:
"Don't do that. That's your warning."
And they do it ANYWAY, it clearly shows me that what they REALLY heard was:
"Go ahead and do that, it's perfectly fine and you will not be punished in any way whatsoever."
I suspect that the language they actually speak is the universal tongue for all wee beasties, all over the world. In any country, in any species, on any planet. Like the ability to see sprites and hear brownies, you have to be a child to comprehend this language... but it certainly is not the one their parents are using.
And in the third scenario... my kids really are just ignoring me and testing to see how long they can go before I implode. This is the most dangerous situation, for them at least. Possibly for me too, because it results in a head full of gray hair.
When I say:
"Do not do that again. That's your warning."
And the child looks straight at me and does it anyway, that's when my mettle as a mother is tested. How many times do I repeat the same thing when I am clearly being ignored? I don't--swift and immediate action must then take place. But sometimes, people, I don't WANNA take swift and immediate action. I want to sit on my butt and just have them obey me and the colossal thunderous authority of my voice.
There's a certain age range where the Ignoring is a daily, constant thing, a battle of wills between parent and child. It's exhausting and obnoxious, and it means I have to say the same. thing. over. and. over. and. over. Until they hear me.
So there it all is. Possibly, all three scenarios are coming into play. I should have their hearing tested, and if they are already losing it then get them hearing aids and poof! They can no longer use that excuse.
I should keep on teaching them the language I am actually speaking to them, instead of their made up, make believe language that converts everything I say into what they really want to hear. So when this conversation takes place:
"I want juice. Can I have juice?"
"No, you cannot have juice."
"Can I have juice?"
"No. No, you can't have any juice."
"Will you get me some juice?"
"Didn't you HEAR ME? I said NO."
"Can I have some juice?"
Then they will actually hear and understand the word NO.
And finally, if they are ignoring me, then I will just have to keep on keepin' on, and invent new and creative ways to convince them that defying Mommy is a very bad idea.
Comments:
It's a little known fact today, but there is a direct nerve that runs from the butt to the ears, and when the right pressure is exerted to the butt, the ears actually open up and get much better reception.
hahaha, Great post!
I swear my daughter must be related to your kids, with the addition of short term memory loss. She MIGHT hear me say something, but 5 minutes later, she has suddenly 'forgotten' that it was said at all, and genuinely seems shocked when my head comes unglued.
Much love
Alex
Selective hearing. Yes, that's it.
I used to wonder about Lillian's hearing (before we received the autism diagnosis), but quit worrying when I realized that she could hear us opening a box of crackers from the other side of the house, and be in the kitchen in a matter of seconds. It turns out that both of my girls have excellent hearing--when they hear the things they want to hear.
Which brings me to two other points. My older daughter, Genevieve, will tell me that she didn't do a task or a chore we'd asked her to do, because she forgot. She will claim to have the worst memory in the world (at a mere nine-years old). However, that, too is entirely selective. If, for example, I were to say to her that I want her to wipe the kitchen table and set it before we have dinner, she will have forgotten--even though the request was made within five minutes of needing the task to be done. However, if I were to say that in a couple of weeks we may take a trip to the zoo, aquarium, or the ice cream parlor, in a couple of weeks, she will be bugging me to keep my "promise". She'll even say, "Remember--you said we were going (insert fun place here)". Very selective memory.
The final point, regarding memory, really has little to do with memory--at least, not theirs. I think, in your example of asking for juice, that the little ones are hoping that our memories will have failed us, that we won't remember the asked-and-answered. Clinging to that hope of our failing memories, they see it as a decent gamble to re-ask for juice. Who knows--maybe all the other challenges they've given us will have short-circuited our brains rendering our memory-capacity very limited.
This is why, when some fool says 'the human race is evolving into a higher form of 'whatever' ' I laugh & say- not a chance! Every children from every place on the earth(if allowed to develop as a 'normal' child) does & goes through the exact same things.
That being said, it means that parents go through the same things too. Remember, my dears, the reward for Not Killing Your Children is the grandchildren they may someday present to you! :)
I laugh loudly now...WITH you, of course.
I am constantly saying, "Am I speaking English??" "Hello, is this thing ON??"
Did Kim ever send you that book? It works wonders for their hearing...
It is true - history repeats it self every generation. These same questions where often raised when the 'now' mommy was a 3 year old.
Me
Thanks, Dad. Mom, don't let Dad on the computer anymore.
Can I have some juice?
I am certain that number two and three are my children, period. No hearing loss, just totally annoying and blatent ingoring of what I have to say (or not understanding the English language I speak).
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For a while I had myself convinced that my son had hearing problems. Then one day my husband and I were whispering about something he didn't need to hear, while he was in the other room, in the bathtub, with the door shut, and he heard every single word. Not deaf. Just selective hearing.
- KTMOM
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