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My father hasn't talked to me since he found out my DS wasn't circ'ed... VENT
- Jan 23, 2010 at 7:55 PM
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- Comments (24) Total Views (739) Everyone can see this journal post.
My father's side of the family is really, really opinionated, they can take a simple topic. Let's say whether fish or chicken is better for your health and debate the topic for SEVEN hours, even though the facts could be printed and placed in front of them... So I didn't tell them that my DS wasn't circ'ed, I was going to when I felt, the time was right, and I was ready. I did my research on it, and me and my DH, decided against it, even though my DH is circ'ed.
Well one day my brother was here with his girlfriend and my DS needed his dipe changed, and I took him out of the room to change him, and they followed me to his room. My brother exclaimed "Is he not circumcised?" I said proudly "no" He went on a tirade of how I was ignorant and stupid, and how girls are going to think of him as weird, and nasty. I gave him some facts, and he still said I was retarted and he was out of here. I was like whatever. The next time he came over, he told me that he told my father and they have the same opinion. I was like what is it. He said that since my DS is named out of the bible, his name is Malachi. That I have gone against part of the bible, and I should follow the whole thing, and not just part of it. That circ'ing is how Abraham became Abraham... I said I have done no such thing, and that if my family were Jewish, my DS would be circ'ed, but I am not. If I were to do it for my religion (I am Baptist) then they would do it as part of a religious ceremony, kind of like the Bris that the Jew's hold. He still told me that I was going against part of the Bible, and again told me that he was out of here. I emailed him later telling him that I am not bound to the covenant of Abraham, because I am not Jewish. And if God didn't want there to be foreskin on my DS, then he wouldn't have put it there. I also told him that it should be my DS decision when he get's older. He has since came over here, and didn't bring it up.
This has all taken place in the past 3-4 weeks, and my father hasn't called me, or answer my phone call's since my brother told him. I don't know what to think. I hope he comes around and decides to contact me, I can't believe all this fuss over a little bit of skin.
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Comments:
My father was the same way when it came to my son. But I chose not to circ him because he had already been through so much at that point. I believe that when he gets about 10-13 we will talk about it. And if at that time he wants it done, we will get him done.
I put it this way. What if your child grows up and at that time being circ'd isn't normal, or isn't ideal in the religion he chooses to follow, then he wouldnt be happy.
You are the mother. What anyone else thinks, well that's too bad. If your family is going to be so petty and controlling, you don't need them.
Bravo for sticking to research instead of tradition. They will come around eventually. If not they are fools.
You did what you should have done---you did your research and came to a decision as a family (I have a girl and thus haven't had to do this). Your family sounds like small-minded idiots. Your argument to your brother was very logical. I'm sure that you could get your minister to back you up that the Bible does not prescribe circumcision for Christians, but that probably wouldn't matter to them. Do any of them wear glasses? Tell them they can't go to church anymore? Wear cotton/poly blend? Stone them. Eat shellfish or pork? Bring out the stones again. I suppose the humor of that argument would be lost on them, though.
The only penis that should be important to another guy is their own. How strange that a grandfather should be so concerned about the state of your son's penis. You're the mother. By the way, my DH is circumcised, but neither of our sons are. They are almost grown and have had no problems.
You made the right decision for your child based on research and it wasn't done on a whim or b/c everyone else in the family had it done. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself!
We did circumsize all of our sons b/c my DH and his father have a medical issue with urination and had to have their circumsicions re-done later in life (DH at 10 yearse old, FIL at 45 years old). We don't want our sons to go through that pain (physical and emotional) later, so we corrected the problem from birth - since it is a genetic trait that all of the boys have.
Stick to your decision and hopefully your father (and family) will come around. If not, then it is their loss. Good luck!
That's terrible! What a ridiculous reason to quit speaking to a member of your family!
Your father and brother are being stupid and ridiculous.
It should 100% be your son's decision later in life. And if they ever bring it up again just simply state "My son's penis DOES NOT concern you!!!" and don't say another word about it. You know they aren't going to change their minds, so why bother trying to educate them?
Well... my dad was upset that I DID cir'c my son. Go figure, lol. He said that our family didn't agree with it. I told him that he was OUR son and we (actually I allow DH to make that decision) wanted it done. Of course my dad still talks to me, but we don't discuss this anymore.
Of course what's done is done. Your dad needs to realize the same thing. It is your decision regardless of how he feels. You and your DH have to be fine wiht your decision and if you are then there is nothing else to discuss. I know we are happy with our decision.
Good luck and I hope everyone gets past this soon.
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Well... penis's are very important to guys, and I am sure that your brother and your father all assumed that your son would look like them, so it must have been somewhat shocking to find out that the thing that they assumed you would do, didn't happen.
Heres the thing. You and your DH feel that you have done the research and raised all the possible repurcussions of your actions and you decided to make a choice that you feel is best for YOUR son. And that is the MOST important part of this decision for YOUR family.
Make sure that you are prepared in your thoughts and information that if this is brought up by family you can lay it all out for them. THIS is why we decided against it, and this and this and this. We ask that you respect that he is OUR son, and that this procedure is available to him later in his life- if needs be. And then let them know flat out that this is no longer a subject for discussion.
Goodluck!
- ethans_momma06
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