Unwanted "help" (an ode to and comment about the unwanted doctor appointment for my son);

[Jennifer761]

Time slips by with out number
When will one be permitted to slumber?
A mere moment in time
is a day or two or three
yet insomnia
gives hope to numbering eternity
when will this breach end?
Can only be thankful dear God for waking me
No one glides through the quiet traits
the affects of autism -conveniently
Rather it lies and baits
awaiting the ones who walk softly, humbly
Yet it is merely a thing
Woe but the arrogance it brings
From those whom sing
Sing of their own ideas, thier own opinions
As though it not be ironic one professing wisdom
sits in judgement making a fool of self
Pulling thoughts from one's own personal wealth
Thoughts without basis, without truth
How is it someone sits so far outside
yet thinks it is within themselves
-that all the answers reside?

-No sleep again, looking forward to a 'have to' meeting with one of my little fella's doctors. One whom we've had no choice but to see. All (but one -two) of his other doctors -it took us years to pick out. They are good, decent doctors (doctors who have their patient's welfare in mind unlike this doctor, also whom manage to respect the family. This doctor does not respect patient nor family, he sews nothing but discord.). This one we'll have to see on Monday is not chosen but forced because we found no options, no choices....just one place to go. As usual, the forced ones are never what one would choose (l.o.l., obviously). Opinionated, arrogant, full of self -I'll have to weed through the foolishness. Definately not one who has the patient's best interest in mind. I'll have to cypher through that crap too. All these other doctors we've seen, yet this one thinks himself God of them all as though his opinion is tops, far above all others'. His opinion is more important than his patient's needs, more important than his patient's feeling, than the family's feeling & needs....his black and white, prejudice & biased opinion which I no longer respect. I don't really respect him, he just ties up heavy loads (hard to do things, impossible rules, ridiculous requests; he is much easier on people who have no disability) & drops them on the shoulders of disabled children without a thought to helping (oh forgive me, perhaps a thought at tossing some ridiculous option out there...something no one considers to be helpful -even he would not consider it helpful if it were his child that were disabled; but it may aid him in keeping up appearances). I just hope my little fella sleeps for me tommorrow night so i can at least be somewhat rested for the required appointment (for needed medicines)....I'm usually operating on 0 to 2 hours of sleep with out help when I have to meet with this contentious, grand dious person. Not to mention all the other issues that come with appointments like this (autism; for lots of reasons, the inconsistance of the system at this office -he sees new people -students under this head doctor who can only mimic the head docotor's voice & doesn't go often enough for it to be routine, therefor it is a change with strangers in the lobby, some of those strangers may be foreward enough to attempt to touch him.....his newfound phobia/fear of small unfamiliar rooms & public restrooms -familiar & unfamiliar.....as well as having multiple kids in tow.....pretty hard to protect your kid under those circumstances).

      I dunno if I'll say much, no idea how I'm going to approach things or what I'll do. Its so worthless to fight with an arrogant person, more productive to avoid them if possible....
                  FUN.