Can't I be selfish just once?

[HeatherReneeB]

This is more of a vent journal entry for me. Just a warning in advance.

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So, we moved to this area about a year and 3 months ago. When we moved here in October of 2008 I had NO friends at the time. I didn't really start making friends until January of 2009 when I found the LLL for our area. I met a group of ladies there that believe most if not all of the same things I believe.  But I've noticed as time has gone on, and a year has passed that I'm always catering to them. If someone wants to get together for a play date, I go to their house, or meet where they want to. This happens a lot with "C". She'll say she really needs to spend some mom time with me chatting while the kids play, then ask if we can come to her house. She has 2 kids.. I have 3. And she lives on the other side of town, so it's not like it's just down the road. 

When one of the girls, "B", was pregnant and sick, I made chicken noodle soup for her and brought it to her house, even though she lives 30 minutes away. I 'thought' she and I were becoming really great friends.. We'd talk on facebook and text message all the time. Now, I know that she had the baby a month ago.. but she says she doesn't want to leave the house... yet she's always posting about how her and the family went to lunch and stuff.. I guess my house isn't as germ free as a restaurant would be for her new baby. She's only been to my house once to actually visit.

The other girl, we'll call "H". "H" has a habit of saying she's going to do something or be somewhere, and then doesn't show up. not just that, but she'll pretend like nothing is wrong the next day. She's done this to all of us quite a bit.

Now, I have baby sat for "H"'s kid AND "B"'s kids. But, when I need a sitter, noone steps up. They ALL are at home moms, so it's not like they are busy. They've all talked about the great dates they've had with their hubbies and such.. the last time I went out with my hubby WITHOUT the kids was about 4 YEARS ago.

I guess I'm just sick of being the nice person. When is it MY turn? When I get sick, noone seems to notice. When I need a break, noone is there to help. *sigh*

Ok, rant over.. back to being the nice person I am.

[bamsmom2001]

Jan. 27, 2010 at 8:23 PM

Move here, We can be neighbors! I will totally watch your kids, you deserve a date. Heck you deserve a vacation!

I'm sorry these girls are such selfish flakes. It has taken me a long time to realize that true "good times and bad" friends are hard to find, but once we find them, we never lose them...no matter how far away we are. :)

[HeatherReneeB]

Jan. 27, 2010 at 8:28 PM

And see? I feel like a horrible person for even venting about it! LOL

I wish we could move there! Is it sad that I have friends that are closer to me in friendship online then I do in person? Do ya'll have a Chuck E Cheese that needs a manager? LOL!

(Original Poster)

[bamsmom2001]

Jan. 27, 2010 at 9:32 PM

I'll hook you up mama!

[Jayme]

Jan. 27, 2010 at 10:38 PM

I hear ya!  I've got a friend like that too.  When she was pregnant and then after she had her baby, I was there daily helping her out with whatever I could because she asked for help.  But she's too busy to do the same for me.  And she lives maybe 1/4 mile away.  Grr.  Vent away! You're allowed to be selfish!

[MSugarKane]

Jan. 28, 2010 at 8:50 AM

Bump in on the babysitting.   When a friend of yours asks for you to babysit say, yes, but I was going to ask you if you could sit for me ___________  (pick a time, even if its just a morning home alone) and do babysitting exchange instead of always being the one doing all the babysitting.    Kind of train your friends your not going to be walked on.  It all can be done very nicely.

[qutykat]

Jan. 28, 2010 at 2:56 PM

I think MSugarKane makes a great point.  Don't let them walk all over you!  You're a busy mom too that needs a break now and then!