You say Tomato, I say "Shut Up!"

[qutykat]

You say Tomato, I say "Shut Up!", is actually a book.  I saw it the other day and it really stuck with me.  That's exactly how I feel about my husband sometimes.  Sometimes, I just don't feel like being pc.  I want to act like my 2 yr old, throw a tantrum, and scream, "It's my way or NO WAY!" 

It's starting to hit me that my husband and I don't think alike.  I feel like he doesn't acknowledge or appreciate the hard work I've put in to keep the house clean and the kids happy.  He feels like the little kisses and hugs he gives me everyday should tell me that I'm appreciated and loved.  Why is it that it just annoys me though when he comes from behind me and hugs me while I'm doing dishes or tries to kiss on me when I'm mopping the kitchen floor?  I guess in my mind, if he really appreciates and loves me, he would tell me to stop working so hard and lie down while he finishes up in the kitchen.  In my mind, if he appreciates and loves me, he would come home with flowers and picked up dinner on the way home so that I didn't have to worry about cooking.  In my mind, he would sweep me off my feet and take me away to a tropical island and force a cold drink in my hand and tell me to bask in the sun until all my troubles and worries melt away.  Sigh...if only he could read my mind. 

I think that I've mostly been feeling this way because I've been sick with a cold that I can't shake.  So, on top of not feeling well, doing all the household work without any help really got to me.  Sometimes I just want to be a little girl again and have my mom take care of me when I start to feel sick.  When you're married, all you've got is your husband and he just doesn't possess that maternal instinct that my mom has.  So when he doesn't give me what I need, I start feeling as if he doesn't really care and that I'm all alone in this big world with no one to take care of myself but myself.  I guess the real reason I was mad at my husband for not helping me out with the household chore is just me acting out for not having someone to baby me when I'm feeling sick.  I was mad that he couldn't see that I was not feeling good and even madder that he didn't seem to care.  But I've realized that he does care, even if he doesn't show me the way I want him to show it. 

I know my husband loves me.  We have a pretty good relationship when we communicate with each other.  It's not his fault that he's a man.  I married him for all the manly qualities that he possesses and I know he's not perfect, but neither am I.  I guess when he does say Tomato next time, I should really listen and try to understand that when he says Tomato, it might not be what I think Tomato really means.   And when I say Potato, I probably need to delve further and explain to him what I really mean when I say Potato.  Neither one of us can read minds.  I just need to remember that next time.

[prgreeneyez]

Jan. 28, 2010 at 1:13 PM

Very well said I think you figured it out men can't read minds we need to remember this if you need help you need to tell him and I bet he will help if you want to be babied just let him know I bet he will baby you... You know he loves you that is not the problem are problem cause I was the same way is we forget they do not have the six sense we have they need to be told what we want.. Good luck I know you don't know me but I liked your post... Hope all is well..

[qutykat]

Jan. 28, 2010 at 2:06 PM

Thank you for your comment.  It's 4 years into our marriage and I'm finally figuring all this out.  :)

(Original Poster)