The Cost of This is Absolutely Absurd

[TALuke]

So today I found a baby needing a home.  I contacted the facilitator who proceeded to tell me that her fee was $15,000 and the BM would need living expenses throughout her entire pregnancy (she is due in September).  On top of that, we would have travel expenses as she is in CA and we are in MI and pay all attorney fees involved.  My husband and I have already spent in excess of $20,000 and still have no baby.  We had a birth mother back out on us 2 days before the birth and then contact us 2 weks after the birth and ask us to come to TX to get the baby.  We dropped everything and flew down only to be stood up at the attorney's office.  Outcome?  We lost a total of $4500, no baby.

I really don't understand why adoptive parents are allowing this type of thing to continue.  Why do we allow facilitators to take our money upfront with no promise of anything in return?  We give them anywhere from $10,000 to $25,000 and yet they can in essence give us nothing and we can't sue.  Why can't they match us with a BM and collect only IF the match works and we end up with a baby?  I'll tell you why not.  Because they know we are emotionally unstable to a point.  We want a baby so bad, we will do and pay nearly anything to get one. 

And then there is the BM who can take our money for the entire pregnancy for living expenses and what not and then tell us she changed her mind.  Again, no legal recourse because she is the birth mom.  Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but just because someone can make a baby, doesn't mean they inherently have that baby's best interest at heart.  The law allows them to "steal" money from us, again with no guarantee of anything in return.  There is no other kind of proposition like this in our country.  If I give someone $15,000, they not only have to promise to give me what we agreed on, but if they don't I can sue them. 

Why are we allowing this unacceptable behavior to continue????????