Octobor 31, of 1997 was one of the worst days of my life. My b-mom hit rock bottom she was hooked on drugs really bad and could no longer able to care for us. We were taken and split up. She choose drugs and a man over us. It had been that way as far as I could remember back.  She was giving 2 years to clean up her act but sadly never did. At first the visits came once a month. Then in 1999 My brother and two sister were adopted. Then the visits came once every two months. The adopted parents decieded it was time for my brother and sisters get back to a normal life. So that meant to stop the visits.   They would cry for me too take them home.  Oh god how i wish i could have. But i was only 15 years old.  The last visit was the worst, My brother james was 8 so he understood what was going on.    He had a dollar in his pocket he begged them to leave us all together and he would give them his dollar. My sisters were younger so they really did not understand, but just knew everyone was sad.  As they torn as apart to make me leave I told james to promise he would never forget me. I promised them the next time I would see them it would be forever and I would never go away again. It has been ten years since I have saw them. I will never forget there cries when the visit was over. I miss them so much. I want to find them but ever lead has been a dead end so far. I have a hole in my heart I need to find them. I want to know that they are ok.  We had pretty bad childhoods. I hope there parents gave them all the love that we had never gotten from our parents.   I now have two boys of my own, I want them to know there nephews. I still dont understand how I mother can turn her back on her children and problay never will. My mother has remarried and now has a 11 year old son. He does not know about us. I tried to contact her but she does not wish to have me in her life.  She pretends that we were not even real that it was just a dream. So she is no help in the matter. After everything she has done , I have forgiving her for all the things she has done. It took a long time. But it hurt more to hold on to the anger and pain.   I have been threw hell and back. One thing that would help my family have closure is to know how they are doing. It is killing us not knowing. Have you ever been in my shoes? Any help i would be so greatful


Thanks for reading

gracie

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Comments:

daisyb
Jan. 29, 2010 at 10:30 PM

 

  I am So Sorry that you & your brother & sister's went through so much heartache growing up- I can not even comprehend how a mother could do that, but as Sad as it is- It happens way to often- i have no idea how you could track them down- maybe, check out the groups- hopefully, there is one that can help you- Wishing you the very best in finding them; i have no doubt that they have been searching for you too! Saying Lots of Prayers for you.......... Voted Pop for you; i hope some momma's can help you out! Take Care-

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Lb128f
Jan. 30, 2010 at 3:53 AM

I'm sorry.  That's so sad. I hope you can find them. What are their names...where did they live...how old are they now...do you know the adoptive parents names...do you know any relatives that may have information...have you listed your name on sites for trying to find siblings -- type in looking for siblings, looking for birth family, looking for lost family, looking for brother or sister...have you looked on myspace, facebook......maybe if you list their names here someone knows them? GOOD LUCK!!! Voted POP so more will see!

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Chris...
Jan. 30, 2010 at 8:50 PM

Contact the local CPS that handled the case.  Maybe that would be a good start????  Good luck.

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Mahop...
Jan. 30, 2010 at 10:34 PM

I would contact cps if you were in care you should be able to get your file.   it may give info about those who adopted your siblings.  I

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kuntr...
Sep. 30, 2012 at 2:05 PM

I understand what you are going through & I pray that you find your siblings. I have been searching for a sister my bio-father told my mom he had in AL (when I was little) that was about my age maybe a year or two younger (my mom isn't exactly sure). When I asked him about it he denied it and told me he didn't have another daughter besides the three I know of (I have two half sisters that I know). He wanted my mom to go with him to meet this child when I was a child (the mother had supposedly just contacted him and told him about her). But my mom wouldn't go (they weren't together and he didn't take care of the three he had).  

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