Can't Sleep, OBSESSED w/ my weight

[PsychologyMama]

 I can't sleep so I thought I would write it down.

I am OBSESSED with my weight. I am DESPERATE to be thin. Well not thin per say but healthy and feel good about myself.

I am 5'3 and currently 187(woohoo). I weighed 250 when I delivered my 3rd child( in 3yrs) in August. I was 223 at the start of that pregnancy.

Being at 187 feels amazing right now. I am actually controlling my eating which is hard! I mean I hardly eat!

I DESPERATELY want to be 140 or less ( like 135). The thinnest I can remember being was around 140-145 when I was 15 and 16.

I weighed 180 when I was 13 yrs old at like 5'1! That is horrible!

I want to be healthy and a good example to my kids.

I don't currently exercise. I have no equipment and my dh feels it is too dangerous to walk outside by myself. Which I think I would have to agree.

I am just so TERRIFED that I will be stuck at obese. I am currently obese for my height. My BMI is 34 and over 29 is obese. I have to be like 137 to be in the normal range.

Luckily I am big boned so I feel I look smaller than what I am. If I weighed 140 I

 would look more like 125-130. But I hope to get to 135 and keep it there.

I want more kids but I want to maintain a good weight and not get unhealthy again.

Please pray for me and my health. Wish me luck!!

If anyone reads this. lol

 ANY TIPS ON WEIGHT LOSS PLEASE COMMENT!

[sdgd21]

Jan. 30, 2010 at 2:01 AM

Well first off, I understand, I was bulimic for years and when I stopped the weight came on, but now I have health issues.  But I would say stay on course, and don't obsess.  I too am over weight, I and no big bones, I am a bit taller so I carry it okay, but at times I just want to go back to the laxatives.  It's hard.  But I pray a lot for God's help, and I I tell people so that they can help me.  Truth is if I worked out and eat okay I'll lose weight, just not 20 lbs a month.  IDK,  they say slower to go, slower to come back, sounds good. ;-).

P.s I am up late doing homework, sooo tired sorry if I don't make since. lol

[MSugarKane]

Jan. 30, 2010 at 8:36 AM

Stay on course!  It is way too cold outside to walk right now. What I do for exercise in the house is take on big projects, like emptying out a whole closet, wash it down, vacuum and then organize it back.  It takes a lot of energy and a lot of movements for house cleaning..  There is always some big project to undertake, like kitchen cabinets!  Reorganizing the kitchen totally.  Then also when your done the sense of accomplishment that you just didn't sit around all day and your home gets a real good do over is awesome.