The Face of ADHD

[AzaansMom]

A few years ago my son’s Kindergarten teacher told me that I should have him tested for Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or as it is most commonly diagnosed in children, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) as he had a difficult time focusing on day-to-day tasks. I laughed and thought he’s five years old, aren’t they all supposed to be bouncing off walls? From that on I was skeptical about any person who suggested that my son had ADD/ADHD. In first grade Azaan’s grades were excellent, nothing but A’s. His teacher stated he was a model student, no behavior problems, but that he couldn’t sit still and when he was finished with his work would talk. She suggested we get him tested, I suggested he was bored. In Kindergarten and First grade Azaan had always excelled in Language Arts. In Kindergarten he was placed in a first grade reading class and in first grade placed in a second grade reading class. Grades were clearly not an issue then, but both teachers stated if we did not get his hyperactivity under control we were headed for destruction.

In the second grade we switched Azaan to a Montessori school, because he was excelling in so many other areas, we believed this would allow him to take on the challenges of grade work a level above his own. He had to be recommended by a teacher who thought he was capable of the work. His first grade teacher gave the recommendation but also stated that if his hyperactivity is due to ADHD that it would be brought out even more in a Montessori environment. Montessori schools allow children to work on work a grade level above their own, but they require great independence and attention to detail. Not knowing much about ADHD then and skeptical about having my son labeled we moved forward with testing him into Montessori. He tested in and the school administration thought this would be a perfect fit for him. However, his First grade teacher was right about Montessori bringing ADHD out more. His adjustment from a traditional school to a Montessori school was the calm before the storm and when ADHD struck it was like Hurricane Katrina. Unfortunately it was during Second grade that his grades began to suffer.

Being a parent who still believes African American boys are being misdiagnosed with ADD/ADHD at an alarming rate I was skeptical to even have Azaan tested. I’ve never believed in medicating children and had not heard of any alternative treatments, but that first year of Montessori was so bad I had to do something. I mean what do you do when you look at your then 6 year old son and see his grades suffering because he tends to hyper-focus on everything in sight and within his listening range? How do you accept a diagnosis of ADHD, especially when you are skeptical whether or not it is real? Well I've seen it and now believe it is real, how to treat my now 8 year old son is now my concern.

Given the diagnosis I read many books on ADHD and learned that Montessori schools are some of the most effective learning environments for children with ADHD because it teaches them to organize, give attention to detail and most importantly focus in on their work. While it is effective in the aforementioned areas it can be extremely difficult for someone who has untreated ADHD because there is a lot of movement around the room and children are allowed to talk using soft voices. In addition to reading we’ve tried behavioral and family-group therapy, behavior modifications of all types including for myself and my husband, punishments, making both his school and home environments more structured, change in diet and bed time, limits on TV and video games and nothing has brought his grades up, in fact they’ve gotten worse. Family therapy helped with raising his self esteem as now he understands he is not the only one who has a hard time focusing on one activity. But what is a parent to do when they struggle with how to effectively treat their child’s symptoms and shutters at the mere thought of medication?

I’ve heard stories that made me hopeful for Azaan as well as scared, read about stars that’ve learned to manage and live with ADHD without medicating. I’ve talked to parents who choose not to medicate and how wonderful their child/children are doing but guess what, none of their stories are a cookie cutter replica to my son and his behaviors. No two stories are alike, and I feel like I've heard them all. From the, "my daughter is a successful lawyer who was never medicated," or "my son is a college football player with good grades, he saw a psychologist throughout school, and was never medicated" and my two favorites, "I P.U.S.Hed, you know Prayed Until Something Happened or the most common response from many African Americans "I just beat it out of him." I talked to a woman who said that her son became strung out on his medication by age 16 and that she blamed herself. I saw on dateline where a little boy developed heart condition from the use of his ADHD medication. I've heard that once you start with these kinds of medications that your child will be on them for the rest of his/her life. Trust me, I've heard it all, but still the question remains, how do I help Azaan. None of these people are my son and while the stories can be both encouraging and extremely scary, they are not Azaan's stories and nor do they have to be.

I’ve known for several years that Azaan was far more active then most children his age. He was also not your typical child, talking before one, potty trained about 18 months, reading before Kindergarten, and strong willed almost to the point of defiance. Yes, Azaan is not your typical child, sometimes in conversation you may forget you are speaking to an eight year old. Ever since his Kindergarten teacher suggested he be tested I questioned but how, he is so intelligent. However, I was in denial because no parent wants to believe there is something wrong with their child. I’ve come to understand that ADHD does not mean broken, defective, or unintelligent; it just means different. We all have many gifts; this is yet another one of Azaan’s gifts. Albeit hard to unwrap, it’s still a gift.

There are so many faces to ADHD and we still don’t believe that it is real. As both a parent with a son who has the gift of ADHD and a teacher who has several students who have been diagnosed with ADHD, it is real and lives within our children. Early on I said I didn’t believe in medicating children and trust me I’ve gone back and forth about how to most effectively treat Azaan’s ADHD symptoms. However, since nothing has proven to be effective, I am more open to discuss medication as an option to treatment of Azaan’s ADHD symptoms.

As parents it is our job to educate, protect, love and care for our children and as Azaan’s mother I will do whatever it takes to help him be the BEST Azaan he can be, and if medication plays a part in assisting him to become the next great whatever he wants to be, then so bid. "Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children" and I want Azaan's memory to be of his father and I always fighting and doing what's best for him no matter what.