Can I trade?

[Momma_Halo]

I am tired of a few things in my life. 

Like for one I am tired of feeling jealous every time I read about another friends easy pregnancy and birth. I am tired that I am jealous of their reproductive organs. I just want the PCOS to go away! I am tired of cysts bursting in my ovaries and I am tired of people telling me "Just keep trying, you can do it!" 

I am tired of how it makes me feel groggy and depressed. I am tired of how I grow hair on my chin and I spend most of my time plucking them one by one because waxing can't pull them out at all. I am tired of being 28 years old and feeling like I am 72. 

I am also tired of my food allergies and how I can't do anything. I am tired of being in Idaho where "Vegan" isn't an option AT ALL. I just went to the store and grabbed a few things I thought I could eat and found dairy in them. 

I am 28 flippin years old! I shouldn't be having all these issues. I should be running around with my son, cleaning my house, and being super woman. Instead since the age of 15 I have been battling my own body and no one damn well understands! 

I can't even go on a date. I have to stay away from cigarette smoke, perfume, pot smoke, and anything else that bothers my senses and makes me flare up. I am constantly stuck at home and it sucks! 

Yesterday I cried all night long because I had to see a throat doctor yesterday morning. I can't eat anything and I can't figure out why. They think it is acid reflux, EE, or whatever. I just wanted to cry again... let's add another thing to Danielle's reasons she is messed up!

I just want to eat for weeks, I just want to have a day where I am not feeling icky, and I just want to go to bed on time!  And for once I want people to just say it will be ok instead of giving me a hard time about my infertility! I am due for a swallowing test... fluoroscopy test that watches you swallow with an X-ray.

I am just scared and very emotional.

[rednails]

Feb. 6, 2010 at 2:26 AM

Oh honey it will be okay. I know it is hard. I went through some of the things your going through now. It will get better. And your right at 28 it is not fair or acceptable for you to have to deal with all of this.

*Hugs*

[Momma_Halo]

Feb. 6, 2010 at 3:52 AM

Thanks, I just needed to cry and get it off my chest. It hasn't been hitting me one year after another. LOL all these things started hitting me within 3 months. 

My PCOS has been around since I was 15 but the doctors told me it was all in my head. And I accidentally found it at my internship in December. My husband tells me it will be better and I believe him :).

I am just tired and hungry.

(Original Poster)

[aurorabunny]

Feb. 6, 2010 at 9:13 AM

The fertility issues aside, I know you how you feel.  Let me know if I can help you--with finding vegan food at the store, health issues, or just to listen.  Hugs!

[mtnmama111]

Feb. 6, 2010 at 1:26 PM

I have serious food issues too, and endometriosis and fibromyalgia.. so I totally feel you.. I can't offer anything besides {{{HUGS}}} and the knowledge that a better day is around the corner. Go for a walk in the sunshine (if possible!! lol) it usually helps a bit.

[Momma_Halo]

Feb. 6, 2010 at 6:31 PM

Thanks guys, I could really use that. I am having trouble finding recipes and other things. My birthday party is next Saturday and I am still trying to find a recipe for side dishes and main courses. It is just overwhelming. 

I went to Walmart here in Nampa and they told us that they stopped carrying vegan because it wasn't popular. I have to drive 7 miles over to Winco and they don't have a lot of options either. Haven't tried Fred Myer yet. And the Boise Co-op is expensive. I had to have a fight with McDonalds about a little cheese is still too much for a lactose intolerant person.

It just seems Idaho has no idea what you are talking about unless you tell them how you want your steak and it is annoying. 

The fertility issue is coming from my family and my husbands family. His family told me they didn't even want me marrying him because they knew I couldn't have kids. 

Some days it just gets to me.

(Original Poster)

[momslilangels07]

Feb. 6, 2010 at 6:42 PM

I was just diagnosed with PCO a few wks ago.. but I am one of the lucky ones that have not had problems since early on.. I did not have fertility issues.. but I feel your pain on all the other symptoms.. I have been desperately trying to lose weight but with this dang PCO it is an uphill battle all the way.. I feel like people just don't understand my pain.. my husband thinks there is one magical pill that will make it all go away.. GEE I WISH..

well anyways.. hang in there.. things HAVE to get better.. or at least that is what I tell my self to get through a day!!

[Betsy858]

Feb. 6, 2010 at 6:48 PM

hi, i have my issues as well. I  had the same disorder you did and I evenntually had decided having one child was a true blessing and if I have to fix my problem with my ovary cysts I would because at that point I was tired of stomach pain and depression. So now I have no overies and after feeling sorry for myself about not being able to have any more kids I am happy and healthy. I  have ;actose intolerant as well aZs glutin intolerence which is the bigger annoyance. I eat lots of salads and fresh fruit and have seafood. I also can have egg whites. I also have a similar condition with my throut. I had a study done and I have GERD. I take nexium for it and I try to eat bland food. It is hard to deal with these issues, but I also know I could have cancer etc. I have been married 21 years and I have a 13 ear old. But its ok to feel bad about stuff. But remember that people have a lot more problems.

[twin_mommy]

Feb. 6, 2010 at 7:20 PM

As a former Idahoan I can sympathise with your seaming lack of food options.  I was going to recommend the Co-Op, but saw that cost was a major concern. If you find what you need there frequently, you should consider joining the Co op.  The costs are about 20 percent less if you are a memeber.  Fred Meyer does have some options, but they are all very different.  The one up on Federal Way in Boise has a pretty good natural and vegan section.

[Momma_Halo]

Feb. 6, 2010 at 8:35 PM

Hmmm, I will have to check that out then! Maybe if I wake up on time tomorrow then I will check it out. 

(Original Poster)

[BeaMoore]

Feb. 6, 2010 at 10:09 PM

I voted popular, because you expressed the feelings of quite possible a huge crowd of moms,  women in general.

I have a few health conditions, procrastinate with all the tests that I should take, I am tired of all the "good advice" that everybody and their brother are giving me, I am tired of being bipolar and ADHD, I am tired of being tired, of having to apply for Social Security because depression is ruining my life and I cannot stay at one job for good, plus I am I tired of having to move to a middle of a frigging nowhere because living here is cheaper but there are hardly any jobs, I could apply at McDonalds but I would forget the order I am taking from a customer in 1/2 second after they tell me what they want.

Thank you for telling how you feel, you have no idea how much it means to hear someone who feels like you.

Luv ya,

Bea