LorelNicolette's Journal

Confessions, reflections and rants

During each pregnancy it has been blatantly obvious to me that the majority of people think pregnancy is a free pass to make random comments about a womans' size or appearance.  There are a select few who make the comments respectively, but the vast majority I have come in contact with have had very little tact. 

I take two elevators to get to my cubicle, and take those same two elevators when I leave to go home.  If I decide to go to lunch then that adds two additional elevator trips.  Needless to say, I get a lot of ignorant comments from people I do and don't know.

Some examples....

  • You are huge!
  • Your hips look bigger today.
  • You look like you are about to pop!
  • You look like you are due any day now.
  • You are only six months along?  Geez!
  • Oh my gawd, are you having twins?
  • You look like you are over being pregnant.

The problem with most of these comments is timing.  I received the "huge" and "about to pop" comments when I was only in my second trimester.  After I would answer with how much time I had left the "twins" question would follow.  I even had one co-worker take a look at me and comment on how it "looked" like I didn't want to be at work anymore.  I am pretty sure he deduced this based on my size which I found very rude; especially since I have been more than enthusiastic to be at work. The positive outlook I have had during this pregnancy has helped me to dismiss most of these comments, but I admit I have my days. 

I was just talking to my husband, and he suggested that I stop working after this week.  I have to admit it is pretty darn tempting.  Not because I can't handle the physical aspect of work, but because it starting to become increasingly mentally draining.  I am to the point in this pregnancy where people greet me with "you're still pregnant", or "you must be getting restless".  The truth is that I am perfectly content with being pregnant.  I am not sure why people are assuming otherwise!

Most tell me I should shrug off these comments, but I am only human.  After the millionth time of hearing different variations, the comments start to wear on you.  If this baby doesn't come by my "guess date" then I will definitely consider taking some "me" time to ensure that I remain positive.  The last thing I want is to start getting discouraged by people who don't realize how rude their comments are.

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Comments:

Salem...
Feb. 7, 2010 at 7:17 PM

I'm sorry they are getting to you. All I can really say is just take it in stride.

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Lorel...
Feb. 7, 2010 at 7:29 PM

I think it mainly is because of the circumstances of where I work.  I run into so many different people on any given day. 

Most of the people whom I work with have been great.  It is the people I run into on the elevator.  I rarely run into the same person more than once a week, and I pretty much get approached every time I am on the thing.  One day I got the "twin" comment three times!  It is crazy.  If I worked in a smaller, freestanding office then it would definitely be more manageable. 

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mtnma...
Feb. 7, 2010 at 7:57 PM

Maybe you should start taking the stairs... ;D

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Lorel...
Feb. 7, 2010 at 8:14 PM

LOL!  That wouldn't be a bad idea if my company was on the 2nd or 3rd floor. 

They are on the 14th floor, and I usually park on the 4th.  The way the building is set up you have to go down to the lobby and then up to the offices.  That would be a lot of climbing!  That would help kick start my labor though ;-)

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Rebec...
Feb. 7, 2010 at 8:17 PM

Yeah I agree.  Or you look worn out.  You look like shit.  Stuff like that people said to me.

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RanaA...
Feb. 7, 2010 at 8:23 PM

Aww, I told you you looked huge.  I love you, though.

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Lorel...
Feb. 7, 2010 at 8:28 PM

LOL Christie! 

Your comment was warranted being that I am nearing the end of the pregnancy.  Those type of comments bothered me more when I was in my second trimester.  The ones that get to me now are the ones that assume that I don't want to be pregnant anymore.

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Freela
Feb. 7, 2010 at 8:40 PM

Ugh- people are so rude!

I was a big preggo.  I'm only 4'11, I have nowhere to grow but outwards.  When I was about seven months pregnant with my middle child I took my son to McDonald's for lunch.  A very sweet moment for us because I was on bedrest for part of my pregnancy due to some complications I was having... being able to get out and spend some one on one with my toddler was very nice.  While eating our lunch, a woman at the next table said I looked ready to pop any minute... when I told her that I was only seven months she got very alarmed and told me that she had a good eye for these things and could tell the baby had already dropped and I was going to go into labour imminently and I should get to the hospital to be checked out because I was going to delivery dangerously premature and my baby could die!  She was getting herself very worked up... even though it was all bunk she had given me the shakes by the time I walked out, if only because she seemed so sure that something bad was going to happen to my pregnancy and I had been through so many scares with that pregnancy already.

She obviously did not have a medical degree, since my daughter was born two months later at 39w1d, but I'll never forget that wacky woman!  I now try not to say anything other than 'You look great!'  And never rub the belly uninvited... it's a sure way to lose a finger!

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krist...
Feb. 7, 2010 at 9:20 PM

I hate that!!! We were JUST at a superbowl party and the wife of the guy who invited us couldn't stop talking about how I look like I want to have the baby NOW.. granted its true.. but it doesn't help to sit there and point it out! Then there are the other people who are always coming out with "I've been there hunny".. that's damn annoying! The 'oh my goodness.. your so cute' has gotten on my last nerve by now too.. and the uninvited touching... well I"ll say that the only people who have actually DONE that have been friends or friends of friends.. but yeah, they all learned really quick NOT TO if they liked their fingers..

At least it will be over soon.. that's what I keep saying. Good for you for not being impatient about it being over.. I AM!!

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clean...
Feb. 7, 2010 at 9:38 PM

You look glowingly beautiful to me.  I have thought that throughout the whole pregnancy.  I wish I had looked so good. ;)  People just don't think before they speak.  It is called diarrhea of the mouth, it just comes gushing out at an incredible rate of speed and it STINKS.  Everyone should put a filter on their mouths and not try to make small talk if they can't keep from being a blithering idiot.

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