I feel like a single mom

[Chrissy0918]

I'm not technically a single mom, but I feel like one. I miss Cory so much. Its so hard without him here. Things are getting easier, but I still feel the same, if that makes sense. Its hard to balance work, kids, bills, and family/house stuff all by myself. Things that he would normally do are hard to get done. Its hard to do it all by myself. My house is a mess, and i'm stressed out. It irritates me that he is there with no responsibility but going to work, and I have the responsibility of the kids, the house, my job, the bills, etc etc. I know that he is there, doing this for us and that I shouldnt be irritated but I am. I feel bad for feeling like that, but I can't help it, and I dont know how to change it. Im sure that he does miss us, and its stressful for him too, but still. I'm terrified that he's going to start to enjoy not having to deal with all the "family" stuff and leave me. He says that wont happen but what if it does?? I know he loves me and the boys, but.. I dont know, I dont know how to explain it. I cry atleast once a day, especially when the boys arent listening, or when they are telling me they miss their daddy and they want him home, b/c I want him home too. The money this job has to offer is great, but is it really worth it? We will be able to get all our bills caught up, and afford things again, but still, is it worth him not being here? I'm so scared that this job is going to tear our marriage apart, I dont know how to let it not! I get frustrated with the kids and the house stuff, and I want to take it out on him b/c he's not here to have to deal with it all, and then I feel bad for getting mad at him. I dont really get to talk to him as much as I would like to, b/c he sleeps during the day and works at night, and when he is up hes either trying to get ready for work, or eating or whatever.. Sometimes I feel like he doesnt even have time for us anymore, even though I know thats not true... I was jealous b/c he went to the beach with out me.. you know, just petty stuff. Im scared to do this without him.. Im not sure if im strong enough, I dont feel strong enough. I just want to give up and tell him to come home, but I know thats just not realisitic for us b/c we need the money, we really do.. But I just keep asking myself, is it worth it? is it really worth it. Im scared, im sad, and I dont know what to do! Enough rambling I guess, i have so much more to say, I just dont know how to say it. I feel like a single mom, and I didnt get married to feel like this, i didnt get married to just be a single mom. Im sad. i dont know how to handle all this or what to do. :( I love and miss my hubby so much!! He's my rock, and he's no longer here to catch me when I fall.. :( Miss you baby!!!

[NannyB.]

Feb. 8, 2010 at 8:43 AM

When our children were young, my husband had just started his own business, and he was hardly every home.  I, too, felt like a single mom.  It helps to think of these situations in the short term rather than in the long term.  If you can get up every morning, saying to yourself that today is one day, and that you can do this one more day, it makes it seem a lot easier than if you think in terms of say, the whole week.  Also, economic times are very tough right now, so a man who has any job is really blessed because so many don't and can't find one.  So, instead of thinking of all that you are missing, concentrate on all the positives.  It helps me to make lists, so write down all the positives and refer to it when you are tempted to feel sorry for yourself.  When you get to talk to him, be positive with him, too.  That will help your marriage stay intact.  Let him know that you are on his side and that you and he are in this together for the long haul.  The key to all happiness is in the way we think.  For some reason, our emotions tend to follow our thoughts.  Life is difficult, but the sacrifices you make now will pay big diffidends later on, so consider your present an investment in the future of your family.  Mine has turned out well.  I pray yours will, too.

[DanyielJ]

Mar. 1, 2010 at 4:06 PM

My husband has been traveling alot for his job.  I have   a 2 1/2 year old and am prgo with our second.  I know exactly how you feel.  I am lucky my comes home for about a week at a time before he leaves again.

Your fears are normal.  I know I have them.  Also your frustrations are justified.  Just stay strong and in the long run it will be good for you and your family, and it will be over before you know it.  Let me know if you even just need a shoulder, I am here.