I have two choices..one is dumb and one is not!!

[Viperkaylin]

I have realized that life without men would be sooooo much easier and much less heartbreaking...but on the flip side then I wouldn't have my daughter and soon to be son so really I can't say much on that front! However, I do have a choice to make. I can sit around like a loser crying because things aren't the way that I planned or want them to be or I can say "SCREW IT...I don't care", get off my sorry, crying butt, and live my life as if it's the way I want it to be. I choose the second option...no more loser Kaylin!! I don't care if he doesn't want to be part of our family. He is the one who will lose out on all of the awesome things I am part of..watching Liz get bigger and smarter every day, watching our son grow from an infant to a big boy, making memories that will last forever!! Who cares if he doesn't find me attractive enough to even touch because I have gained weight not only with the pregnancy, but since we met. Yes after Xander is born I am going to work my butt off to lose as much weight as possilbe (get it? work my butt off? in the literal sense?), but I will be damned if I will do it so he'll finally be happy with the way I look. I will do it for me first off and second for my children so I will be able to keep up with them, play with them, and watch them get older! Who needs a frickin man to be happy? Only losers and since I have chosen to not be one of those then I guess I don't need a man either. His loss is my gain!!

Alright so I just had to get that out somewhere and thought what better place then on cafemom!! Have a wonderful day!!!!

[NannyB.]

Feb. 8, 2010 at 3:13 PM

He sounds like a very shallow dude, so how come it took you so long to decide you didn't need him?  It's wonderful that you don't have to have a man to be happy, but try to remember that your children do need a daddy, so if there's any way you can make that happen, I think you owe it to them to try.  I know that you can't make him want to be their daddy, but at least try to give him that opportunity.

[Viperkaylin]

Feb. 8, 2010 at 3:32 PM

I have hoped for the past 7 years (we've been married for 8, but his true colors waited a year to come out) that he would change and be the man I know he can be...but alas he has shown that it won't happen. No matter what happens with him and I there is no way that I would ever keep him from seeing the kids. DD loves her daddy with all her heart and I hope DS will too so I won't be one of those mean ex's who makes it impossible just to spite the man. I am hoping that my doing things without him might wake him up..if nothing else my leaving will wake him up to the fact that he's being an idiot so he'll stop playing on his computer so much and want to spend his visitation time with his kids...we'll see!!

(Original Poster)

[Jessk]

Feb. 13, 2010 at 1:04 PM

It sounds like you are making the right decision, good for you!

[child_of_God111]

May. 4, 2010 at 10:25 AM

have you ever thought about going to counseling ?? i know most men don't want to go but if it could rescue your relationship and marriage it will be def. worth !!! Good luck !