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Jail Break
- Feb 10, 2010 at 4:19 PM
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- Comments (27) Total Views (1293) Everyone can see this journal post.
What is one year worth? When you measure it by your children, it flies past as they grow too quickly. When you measure it by loss or sudden change, it seems to creep by, each day a struggle to focus on the future again.
I realized today that it has been a year for me, almost. A year since my life changed drastically when my children and I left our home and my ex husband. In a flash, my children have aged a year since then. But my days were like being trapped in cold sap while I grappled with the new direction my life's journey had taken. I can measure this past year in so many ways. I can look at pictures and see how we have all changed. I can read over the journals I wrote from a year ago and see a sad, unhappy, confused woman who knew the end was near and was caught in crisis. I can look at the women I know right now who are going through what I did then, and see myself mirrored in their experiences.
I really don't dwell on stuff like this so much anymore. Time has miraculous powers of healing, along with patience, love and friendship. I'm thinking about this now because my story is hardly unique or uncommon. Several other friends underwent this radical life change near the same time I did; and other friends are just beginning their journey to freedom from their abusive relationships, right now.
I know there are countless other women who need to find the way, the means, the courage, the resolve and the help to get out and build a better life for themselves and their kids. I wish I had a magical secret to make it easier for them. But it's like weight loss--you have to find the way that works for you and commit to it, with all the advice and support you can get. You have to rely on YOU to be strong and you have to trust that you are truly meant to be happy. No one deserves to be treated with hate in their own home.
If you are one of those women, think about a year's worth of time. In one year, you could be healing, happy, whole and safe. Or, you could still be wretchedly unhappy, possibly even more emotionally or physically beaten down than you are now, and watching your children suffer the terrible effects of living in a poisonous home. You have to think about time. If you start making changes right now, this moment, then time will flow as it should for you instead of guttering to a stop, trapping you in a nightmare, until one day you look back and you are too broken to save yourself and you think, I should have left years ago.
Life is short, and the Wheel does not stop turning.--we all know this. Don't spend more time than you have to, caught in a prison sentence that really doesn't exist. You can be free.
Comments:
Well said Joye. I am glad you found freedom and happiness~
Well said, & bravely done, my dear.
Very wise words from a very smart lady.
Has it already been a year? Wow.
I'm very happy for you and how far you've come in that time. You're so happy and happy with YOURSELF. It's just amazing. For our friends just starting this journey, I smile thinking that in a year, they might be even halfway down the path that you are, since it's a much, much better place to be.
your amazing Joye.. I can't believe its been a year! Seems so long ago..
Although my relationship isn't abusive or toxic, it is unhappy, and I hope that when the time comes I have your strength to do what I must to be happy and whole again.
You always amaze me, love. I'm so glad to know you.
Wonderful words of wisdom. So many need to hear this at times like this. ((hugs))
((HUGS)) Very wise words indeed.
Beautifully written wise words of love, Joye.
I'm so happy you've found peace. I wish the same for others beginning this journey...you are the proof. *smooch*
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