The Second Time Around

[jkkbmom]

Right out of high school I married a man 10 yrs. older than me and them 2 yrs. later had our first son and then 7 weeks later I was pregnant with our second son.  At that point I was tired and depressed because all I did was go to work and take care of the boys while he sat around and did nothing. One yr. later I left him I was overwhelmed and tired of doing everything I figured if we were together and I was doing it all then why did I need him it wasn't like I loved him anymore so I left and my mom continued to help me raise my boys.  The funny thing is I think I fail out of love with him the second I seen my first childs face and then it was really over when the second was born because I was head over heels in love with them it was almost like I didn't have any room for him anymore.  Anuway its been 5 yrs sinc then and now I am seeing someone else and we are planning our wedding. He talks about having a child and I'm not sure that I want to I really am afraid that if we do then somehow I will fall out of love with him also.  I feel like I am being selfish but I want him to understand where I am coming from.  My fears are more than likely unfounded because this man is a good one not a lazy no good who won't help me. He is amazing with my boys and loves them with all his heart. I wonder if I will ever be able to get over this intense feeling of fear.

 

[precioskarma]

Feb. 12, 2010 at 7:00 PM

life is tough and if you want to be selfish by all means go ahead you have 2 kids right now you have the rest of your life to decide on another one dont be forced into having another baby.do what you think is best for you and try to explain to him the problem.