Premenopause Sucks (Part 3: Surprizing Developments)

[lisaann1213]

Had my doctor's visit Friday.  I told my OBGYN very clearly about all the symptoms I've been having.  I expected her to be caring and understanding and to want to help, but nope...she was downright RUDE AND NASTY.  It was almost as if she was angry I was taking up so much of her time.  I told her about the pain and dryness I've been having down there-inside and out.  My Pap was hideous, so painful, and though she did find one particularly dry spot, she claims my vaginal tissues are not deteriorating enough to warrant the hormonal suppositories I wanted at this time, though she did take swabs of at least 6 or 7 areas.  Then it was on to my mood swings and my lack of sex drive and my inability to orgasam.  She claims that if I'm still having cycles then my uterus and overies SHOULD be producing enough hormones.  She did absolutely 0 bloodwork or urine analysis to check.  Then things got really ugly...she started asking me things like is someone at home hurting you or making you feel thretened and have you had any major life changes.  The answer, of course, was NO on all counts.  Her prescription???  KY and Prozac.  She "claims" in her professional opinion, that women go through at least 2-3 major bouts of depression in their lifetimes and that sometimes, it can sneak up on you without warning or reason.  Is that crazy???  Anyway, I felt irritated that the fact that I am almost 44, and that in addition to the current history (IBS SYMPTOMS, PAINFUL PERIODS, SOMETIMES HAVING TWO PERIODS A MONTH), the fact that I have not been able to get pregnant in spite of the fact that I have a child, was not taken into account at all.  Keep in mind this is a young, fertile, OBGYN, who IMHO is fresh out of MED school and probably does not have an adequate background or training in the reproductive health issues of Premenopausal/Menopausal women.  At the very least she could have at least offered to float my case to one of her colleagues who knows more about it, at the very least to get some insight.

All this could not have happened at a worse time (MY ANNIVERSARY), and I dreaded having the discussion with my SO about how our lives were going to have to change in the short term.  However, far from being the sex crazed jerk I expected, he actually ended up being really supportive.  He kinda suspected I was going through some kind of change, but didn't know how to approach it without seeming totally insensative.  My biggest fear, being that in May or June we're going to be living together and getting married, is that we'd end up in therapy, at each other's throats because we can't reach a compromise over the vast differences in our sexual functioning.  Thank god it only took us about 20 minutes of talking to reach one, one that is fair to both of us and takes my feelings into account.  Although currently I can get nothing out of sex, he's agreed to slow down a bit, but when he really needs something, he will approach me in a very gentle nonthretening way and them leave it up to me wether or not I feel up to trying, which for the most part, I will be.  In return, he agreed to engage in more nonerotic activities.  This weekend alone, even though he got nothing, I received hugs, kisses, cuddles, and a massage.  We even engaged in a playful pillow fight at one point, which was alot of fun.

So far, the medication is working on my moods.  The first two or two and a half hours of the day, my head is in a drowsy, floaty, fog, but after that I am calm and even tempered.  In the midst of all this, it was affecting my ability to write, which I love, but after only 3 days I'm finding myself with more focus and  purpose, which is good.  Not sure I want to use meds long term, but I'm supposed to go back to the gyno in 2 months, so we'll see.  Another WELCOME improvement is that my stomach and intestinal issues, at least for now, seem vastly improved.  The doctor claims I should be due for a cycle in 2-2 1/2 weeks based on the dates I gave her, and usually this is about the time they start to rage, and even though I still need to watch when and what I eat, I can eat more frequently without pain and discomfort.  Currently, I am only 111 pounds due to rapid weight loss because of stomach problems, but I'm hoping to put on 10-15 healthy pounds, as long as the improvement keeps up.

[zezzawoman]

Feb. 23, 2010 at 9:12 PM

Hi. I'm new to cafemom. and it is so nice to see im not alone with the premenapause crap i'm going through. I also have no sex drive and the mood swings where realy realy bad. I'm on meds for the mood swings wich has helped alot. i also cant go on any harmon pills because i'm a smoker. so i understand what you are going through. I feel this is the worst time in my life and cant wait till it is over. i sure could use a friend like you.