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My dad is mad at me
- Feb 15, 2010 at 11:42 AM
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- Comments (10) Total Views (298) Everyone can see this journal post.
Hey Girls,
I feel kinda of bad that my dad is mad at me but then I feel like "oh well". My dad has dating his "girlfriend" for a little over a year. He moved in with her about August 2009. She has 2 grown children 1 boy who is here in MI and one daughter who lived out of state. Well the daughter has the same name as me and her birthday is in the same month and year. While I have never met her, I did meet her twin daughters while they were here on vacation. Now the daughter has moved back to Mi and my dad wants to take "us" out for dinner for our birthdays. I told me my dad no. I dont want to go. I dont really care to meet her, if I was going to go to dinner I would rather it be with my own siblings(3 brothers) then with someone I dont know. My father has always been good to me, hubby, and my kids. I feel bad b/c he has done alot for me and my family. I dont really want to go and I know I pissed him off by telling him I wont. UGH I hate guilt!!!!!! this would be the only reason I go. I dont want to go and pretend that I want our families to meet and blah, blah, blah................ I really have enough on my plate right now without adding this. I know I should go and probably will but I cant help but going and feeling judged by her the whole time.
sigh..............................I know I am going to have to suck it and go. this really is something I dont want to do.
Comments:
my dad married a lady that had kids with the same name as me and my sister, also there dog had the same name as ours, kinda weird.
I agree. Have two dates per se. One with your family i.e. dad and your siblings and families. Then one with his gf and her family. This way everyone is happy. No guilt or hurt feelings. Do take your dad aside and tell him he needs to make time for both families til all of you do get along and know each other. Just an idea there. Hope this helps as it was meant too.
Have a great day!:)
How about giving her a chance. You might find that she is a really great person and a good friend. You never know. Life's too short to be bitter. And, you could ask him in addition to meeting them for dinner if maybe in a few days if he could have just you and your sibs for dinner. I'm sorry that you feel you've been pushed into a situation you clearly don't feel ready for, but it just might turn out great.
I'm with muzikmom2 - why not give her a chance? Life can be a good thing if you engage it with an open heart and a willing spirit. The stance you're taking right now is a hurtful one and only adds to the "too much on my plate". All families and marriages are basically the same, it's the attitude you bring to them that makes them happy or not... I don't mean to be preachy, but sometimes just shifting your perspective makes a positive difference. You're father is not asking you to live with her, he's asking to take you both to dinner...
thanks ladies for the reponding. She is probably a nice enough person but this is totally out of my comfort zone. I guess I should of added, that my dad does not really like her, so I guess that is in the back of mind. My mom passed away 9 years ago from cancer. They had a good marriage and I miss my mom. I have never had an expierence with a blended family. This will be a HUGE adjustment for myself and my brothers. Its not that I'm not willing to meet her but I for the first meeting I really dont want it me and her, esp. for birthdays. I would rather it be me, hubby, kids, and my brothers(and families) to do this together.
I didn't read the other responses so I hope I don't repeat anyone...
If he wants so badly for you guys to meet, could it maybe be a lunch date rather than dinner? And if it is just so you two can meet... maybe going on your birthday isn't the best idea... and she may be thinking the same thing but doesn't want to look rude. Who knows. I see your point completely. I have 3 children, a husband, a household to run & everything else. I barely have time for myself (most of the time I don't). I don't have time for silly things. ALTHOUGH... I do see why your dad wants you two to meet. One meeting won't hurt but make it on your terms! If nothing else at least it will please your dad & just get it out of the way from coming up later. Good luck!
OK, ???'s. Why's he taking her to dinner for her B-day if he doesn't like her?? Is his girlfriend going? If mom's invited is Sal? is her daughter's hubby? Could he be using you as his buffer cause he doesn't like her and will be more comfortable with you there? Hugs~C
Ahh Tracy I know how you have it at home and how stresssful things can be but I say go..you may wind up liking her. Do you know why your dad doesn't like her? Have you asked him. Maybe his GF wants him to to the birthday dinner thing and he would just feel more comfortable with you there. Love ya lots and huge them cuties for me!
PS. - A had her MRI Saturday, we find out if the Chemo and radiation worked Wednesday
I don't blame you for not wanting to go. If you had an interest in meeting her than great, but you don't. There is no reason for you to feel guilty, your Dad needs to understand that you are interested in spending time with your bio family.
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how bout asking for a dinner date with just u and your siblings with dad then set up another thing to meet them for dads sake.It might keep the peace.My dad remarried and she has two kids too.I knew them growing up but,it seems like dad likes tht family better then his own.Its bull! but,whtever I guess.Good luck hun
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