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MY HUSBAND CHEATED ON ME
- Feb 15, 2010 at 12:04 PM
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- Comments (16) Total Views (1154) Everyone can see this journal post.
This past Friday I discovered what every woman fears to discover...an infidelity. I was going to work on my computer and I felt tempted to check the text messages on my husbands cell phone I checked the inbox and he had nothing just the regular texts from his buddies then I checked the deleted messages and found texts from a woman called Vanessa that told him that she loved him and vice versa she told him that she wanted to have a kid with him and that she was going to name the baby after him he told her that he loved her and wanted to be with her, at the time I was reading this he was taking a nap so I headed to our bedroom and woke him up demanding an answer, he told me that it was a woman that was "bothering him" and that none of that was true, as you all can imagine we got into a HUGE argument I called my inlaws who live next door and my mom who got here ASAP and told them everything in front of him to make a long story short after a while of talking to my inlaws and him to my parents we got to talk he told me he was sorry for his mistake that the only thing that happened was text messages and that he never slept with her that he only saw her twice on the street and only kissed her once but no sex. that day we talked until 2am (sunday) and on sunday (because we are Catholic ) we went to talk to the priest from our church who also married us, my husband explained that he was sorry for all that he had done and that was even willing to go to counseling.
I saved her number and that night he called her in front of me and told her that he didnt want anything to do with her and to leave him alone ...after that she changed her number (not before I told her a little something myself too) and today my husband changed his number also.
I think I forgave him already because otherwise he wouldnt be here ...BUT I no longer trust him and I dont know if he could meet her again and not only her but someone else like they say "once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater" but my question is what am I to do in order to trust him again? I haven't kissed or hugged or anything him since friday because I imagine them together doing the same. I want my marriage to work I BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE AND LOVE but one thing is to see other women who have been cheated on tell their story and another thing is to live it I NEED ADVISE from you ladies I feel like Im going in a down-ward spiral that has no end I need to recover my marriage
Comments:
Sweetheart, Go check my postings. I am in the same situation only it gets worse. You dont have one good reason to trust him whatsoever. However explain this to him, your in-laws, mother and the priest. Make sure to tell your husband that he has to do the work to recover the trust and faith you had in him prior to his infidelity. That until then he had best think that you have the right to not want to do anything whatsoever with him i.e. hugs kisses or whatever. He may not like it but he should of thought of that before he did what he did. Hope this helps as it was meant too.
Good luck! Hugs
Have a great day!:)
Emotional cheating is as bad as physical cheating. Its your decision whether to stay or to go, and being Catholic I am sure that divorce is the last thing on your mind. You may want to consider marriage counseling and counseling for yourself. Since this just happened, your wound is far too fresh to make any decisions OR to forgive him, or trust him for that matter.
Counseling and time...it won't be easy....but, if you love him it will work out. Be patient...be cautious. And...don't feel guilty for NOT being able to just let it go. You've been deeply hurt and it's not going to just go away overnight. Good Luck!
Oh wow. I hope you can work it out.
Cheating, then lying , Can't imagine why you can't trust him, sorry for the sarcasm but I wouldn't be able to forgive my hubby either.
It takes time and a lot of work on his part for the trust to start again, but it's possible. Good luck, mama, and hugs!
I have went thru this several times. He has not learned yet! It used to be atleast every other week I would catch it, now it is down to once every three months. His is ONLY online and the phone. Never in person. When I find it out we split up until I can stand looking at him again. Although we are currently not together but not because of infidelty this time. Good Luck and be strong.
You could find a "civilian" therapist; there are therapists that council from a religious angle.
I am SO sorry. What a difficult situation. I tried with my ex after he cheated on me a know I could never trust again. You will always wonder if hes meeting her, youll always be checking emails and text messages and second guessing etc. I wish you the best of work, but I wouldnt be able to do it. Im sorry. I also dont think I would believe that she was telling him she wanted to have his children if they didnt even sleep together. KWIM?
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wow. Honestly I have no advice. Personally if DH ever cheated on me there would be no second chances. Just wanted to say Good luck.
- SalemWitchChild
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