Overwhelmed and unhappy

[Kate613]

I am s first time mom with an almost 11 month old, and my DH has full custody of my SDs ages 9 and 11. I feel so overwhelmed lately, I'm a stay at home mom but I use to work full time and go to school full time. I just feel guilty because I don't even work and I feel like I just can't keep up with everything. I barely ever get time to myself so I'm so unhappy. Right now we live in a 2 bedroom apartment but we bought a house which had to be gutted and the contractor we hired is taking forever to do the house so who knows when we will move in.....I also don't drive. My SD's BM doesn't take my SDs when she is supposed to ...she only takes them once a week for a few hours. So they are unhappy that I am basically raising them instead of their mom or dad but that's not their fault or mine. They ignore me all the time....chores, dinner, homework, showers....everything everyday needs to be said over and over. I tried taking things away, rewarding them nothing works. My DD wants me all the time so she cries and whines all day if I even go to the bathroom for a minute. Nothing is wrong with her...she just wants me. Then if I put her in her exersaucer for 5 mins to wash her bottles my SD's makes comments that she is crying and that makes me feel guilty. I wash the dishes, do all the laundry, all the cleaning, food shopping, pay the bills, take care of my SDs, feed the baby, change the baby, bathe her...my DH might change her once a week and might feed her twice a week. Then if I don't get anything done around the house because of my DD I feel guilty that I'm home all day and I can't keep up with the housework. My DH will make comments of things are messy and so has his friend when he came over for dinner. My DH thinks I should be able to do everything since he works. I don't know how to entertain my DD and I feel terrible about it. I read to her, play peek a boo, sing, play with her toys she just never seems very happy. My DH works 40 hrs a week and works on our house a few times a week and now he is trying to get a second job at a nightclub as security. I feel so alone already , what am I going to do if he gets a second job. I feel like I can't stay happy. My DD's 1st Birthday is coming up but I have to get our apartment cleaned up for that but I don't know how that will happen since my DD won't let me do anything. I have a history of depression so I don't know if that is what I'm going through or what.....anyone have any advice? Don't get me wrong I love my family I just don't know why I can't get anything accomplished so I can be happy.