what to do?

[Coxly]

ok so my husband cheated  on me and even before then i was rethinking our marriage, somethin just wasn't right even before he did what he did and now i find that really just don't feel  same. i am trying   to care like i did but tonight when i find i am releaved that he is going out of town for a bit, and i find that when we were having sex that my heart was not in it, which is something that just doesn't happen least not with him. least not before. before he cheated i still felt this connection there that i can't explain that i really just didn't want to let go of but its not there anymore.

i find myself more and more changing and not in a way that suits my husband. more and more i keep thinking there has to be more out there than this town and these people that tell me i can't do more. i don't know if maybe i just need to try a trail seperation or just get it over with, we have been together for 6 yrs and the girl he cheated on me with i see weekly, course i go in the place she works and just smile and i have already dealt with her, made her feel fuckin 2 inches tall and i will admit that made me feel alot better but it didn't help us. i have a 2yr old son to think about and i want him to be near his father but in all aspects i am better off in another state with my family where i have work automatically and people to help me and friends that aren't trying to change me.

i know what i need to do and i know what i want to do i just don't know how to do it. i don't know where to start cuz i want to move out of state and i want to keep my son and i know his father will never go for that but at the same time my husband drinks and drives, he has done it with out son, granted i will give him he is not drunk, he just has one in his hand sipping it while driving and i hate that. and i will admit i have smoked pot. i liked it alot and due to that fact i don't do it now and in no way am i afriad to take a drug test to that effect.

i just don't know what to do, mostly i just don't know where to start