I got the I HATE YOU MANY MANY TIMES.. :(

[she29]

I  often wonder just how much drama a relationship/nonrelationship can withstand before it is finally time to walk away. Is it after so much pain and heartbreak? Is it when you find him in Ihop sitting snugly with some other woman like I did at about midnight this morning... When is it- and why does he find it so necessary to destroy me while I am pregnant again? I say again because this is so not the first time he has "talked" to other women and he always always does it when I am pregnant. WTF is his issue?! He told me pretty repeatedly that he hates me and doesn't give a rats ass about this baby or me.. I have been losing it so badly lately my depression has started seriously spiraling out of control.  He also found the need to tell me that he wants to see other ppl.. Are you freakin serious why now?! So now I am just heartbroken even though after all that drama he still ended up at home with me. I guess I just need some hope maybe some advice. I haven't felt this low since my ex husband used me as his punching bag. I am ashamed of myself as well I made a total ass out of myself at Ihop I even confronted this chick whom mind you is someone I know someone who comforted me after I lost my son Marshall. What nerve she has! To top it off she is a married woman what is up with that?! He says he doesnt know if I am what he wants and I am just falling apart. I have resorted once again to my chagrin to harming myself and it sucks. I am just so sad and so very very heartbroken.. After 4 and a half years I should have kicked him to the curb years ago.. What should I do about me? My feelings? I cant seem to eat, I sleep constantly, and I am so so sad..

[sati769leigh]

Feb. 27, 2010 at 9:00 AM

did you get therapy after your last relationship? sounds to me you need some help in changing your self esteem and changing your ways of dealing with things honey. once a woman has been abused it is almost GUARENTEED she will accept lesser men as partners, men who will cheat and abuse them. as your man is now. you need to END this relationship PERIOD. stop accepting the bottom of the barrel. YOU deserve better.

It concerns me GREATLY that you are PREGNANT and resorted to self harm, I assume you are a cutter? this is super super dangerous when you are pregnant. its dangerous ANY TIME. but if you get an infection in those cuts it can kill your baby.

its time to take care of YOU and your little one. end the relationship and get some therapy from a battered women's group. you can send me a private message anytime and friend me if you like. I am a survivor of abuse, self harm, etc. i wont judge you. and i can maybe help you decide what you want to do, or at least listen. you are NOT ALONE.