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A POEM WRITTEN FOR MY TEEN AGE SON I LOVE
- Feb 27, 2010 at 5:37 AM
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- Comments (2) Total Views (67) Everyone can see this journal post.
MY SON WILL THERE COME A DAY WHEN THE SONSHINE WILL BE SHARED BETWEEN US AGAIN?
O Son how my heart aches and I lack the understanding of what went wrong between us as Mother and Son?
What tortures your heart, head and soul? Why now so distant? Why so cold? Why has your word become so worthless when your "honesty" was as pure as gold? Why do you become so sweet, just to recieve what you want from me, to then turn so quick into a personality unknown? I ache in ways that I never thought my heart ever could. I never realized what motherhood really meant until I had you. A bond like no other or words could ever explain, a LOVE so pure, untarnished so Jesus like and not man made. Oh son your heart was so radiant from the first day of your birth. Your eyes so inviting , your smile full of joy, and your arms always extending a heartful embrace. Oh how I miss those days.
Your tears became my tears, your every hurt and pain I felt. You son, I carried you for nine months and from the start we were one, mother and son.Where are you now son? Why run away from your home? What pains you so, and how can I help now that you've grown? I will forever be your Mom, that cares for you like no one ever can. Why has it come down to you caring for nothing or no one, not even you for yourself? Oh son, my light, my joy, my all- why can't my Love burn the ice cold that has build up an outer shield from within your soul? Once we talked for hours and days, we cried, and we always prayed. But that all went away little by little as you grew closer to your teen age. As you neared your teens it was as if your childlike Love began to be wiped away. Oh dear if I could wipe the years of pain, dry the tears of your soul and hold and rock you in comfort as only I could do, please know I would, you know I surely would.
Don't turn away, don't say "yeah, yeah" or tell me "I love you Mom", as they are just words spoken from your lips as if echoing lifeless gong sounds which escape into open air. Son, my son why can't you stay, please don't run away? I'm not your enemy. OH God I Pray, in the stillness of the night as tears stream down my face, I ache for you my son, I wish it wouldn't be this way? I love you forever, and for always, give back a little and just don't take and only take away. Please all it takes is to give a little? A mother's love will never fade, but you are fading in a different way which leaves me sad and filled with Ache each passing day. Oh my TJ my Tory James, My Son,whom I Love So much. Do you get it, do you know how your distance, your coolness, how it all really hurts me so?
Just know I will forever hold on to who you really are, not what you have become. I know the son you are, your real heart and soul which you and I nourished with God's Love. I don't know you as this new cold man you have become. I don't know where you are, nor does your Dad. There is no word from you it is as if hurting me brings pleasure for you. You left and told your father you would return, but because you are displeased with both he and me, you carry it against us and you have grown callous and selfish with your love. Is this a means of punishment to the only ones that truly love you and have such admiration for you? God be with you my Son for my prayers will never end, no matter if you choose to never see me again I just want for you to be safe and well. I Love you Son is all I can say, and all I can give, so I hope that maybe Someday yes, someday my son we will resume again in long talks, and pray? I will keep that hope by Faith in my heart for always.
With all my Love, Your Mom - Caroline 2/27/10
What tortures your heart, head and soul? Why now so distant? Why so cold? Why has your word become so worthless when your "honesty" was as pure as gold? Why do you become so sweet, just to recieve what you want from me, to then turn so quick into a personality unknown? I ache in ways that I never thought my heart ever could. I never realized what motherhood really meant until I had you. A bond like no other or words could ever explain, a LOVE so pure, untarnished so Jesus like and not man made. Oh son your heart was so radiant from the first day of your birth. Your eyes so inviting , your smile full of joy, and your arms always extending a heartful embrace. Oh how I miss those days.
Your tears became my tears, your every hurt and pain I felt. You son, I carried you for nine months and from the start we were one, mother and son.Where are you now son? Why run away from your home? What pains you so, and how can I help now that you've grown? I will forever be your Mom, that cares for you like no one ever can. Why has it come down to you caring for nothing or no one, not even you for yourself? Oh son, my light, my joy, my all- why can't my Love burn the ice cold that has build up an outer shield from within your soul? Once we talked for hours and days, we cried, and we always prayed. But that all went away little by little as you grew closer to your teen age. As you neared your teens it was as if your childlike Love began to be wiped away. Oh dear if I could wipe the years of pain, dry the tears of your soul and hold and rock you in comfort as only I could do, please know I would, you know I surely would.
Don't turn away, don't say "yeah, yeah" or tell me "I love you Mom", as they are just words spoken from your lips as if echoing lifeless gong sounds which escape into open air. Son, my son why can't you stay, please don't run away? I'm not your enemy. OH God I Pray, in the stillness of the night as tears stream down my face, I ache for you my son, I wish it wouldn't be this way? I love you forever, and for always, give back a little and just don't take and only take away. Please all it takes is to give a little? A mother's love will never fade, but you are fading in a different way which leaves me sad and filled with Ache each passing day. Oh my TJ my Tory James, My Son,whom I Love So much. Do you get it, do you know how your distance, your coolness, how it all really hurts me so?
Just know I will forever hold on to who you really are, not what you have become. I know the son you are, your real heart and soul which you and I nourished with God's Love. I don't know you as this new cold man you have become. I don't know where you are, nor does your Dad. There is no word from you it is as if hurting me brings pleasure for you. You left and told your father you would return, but because you are displeased with both he and me, you carry it against us and you have grown callous and selfish with your love. Is this a means of punishment to the only ones that truly love you and have such admiration for you? God be with you my Son for my prayers will never end, no matter if you choose to never see me again I just want for you to be safe and well. I Love you Son is all I can say, and all I can give, so I hope that maybe Someday yes, someday my son we will resume again in long talks, and pray? I will keep that hope by Faith in my heart for always.
With all my Love, Your Mom - Caroline 2/27/10
csjoy1
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Wow, I'll pray for his safe return to you.
- coltsmom45
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