When I was a first time mom

[ChazznRoccosmom]

I was just remembering when I was a first time mom. Everything had to be perfect. When my son didn't sit up at 6mos, I panicked. Them he didn't walk until 16mos. I again panicked. With your first kid, you listen too much to others. You expect way too much out of your child, and most importantly, your expectations are so high, they don't even get to be themselves, they have to be little you. I'm not bashing first time moms. Just remembering the fears and expections of being one.

I remember talking to the doctors about speech therapy because my son was barely speaking at two. My husband and I thought something was really wrong. And the next week, he was speaking in full sentences. I remember thinking I couldn't breastfeed, I remember all the mistakes I made with it, and the pain and regret that has yet to go away. A lack of experience. I just didn't know all the options. I didn't know it might take so much determination, especially while working full time. I remember still having time every day to take a shower, do my hair and make up, take a nap or watch a favorite show. I remember looking at moms who looked like slobs and feeling bad that they lost themselves for their kids. Now I have become one. I'm lucky to get in a shower, and when I do, there's always at least one kid with me. It's not the alone relaxing time it use to be. It's now an excuse to play action figures in water.

I remember being embarrassed and upset, scared when your child isn't "living up to par". Now I know they are all different, they are all themselves, and you should be so proud of that and never change that. Accept them for being bossy. One day, they may run their own company. Accept them for being loud and unruly. They may one day up and leave you for the city, find a job as a drummer, an X games player, or a huge radio show talk host. accept them for being shy, and staying at your side every second, and being afraid of the world. Oneday, you might need them to help you with some critical choices, and they'll keep your interests in mind. Appreciate the artist, the musician, the rebel, the opinionated, the slow, the advanced, whatever your kid may be. Enjoy the time you have to put on your makeup, or the invaded showers. Accept who they are, and don't worry. Every kid is their own, will do things when they are ready. They'll sit when they want, talk when they want, walk when they want. And they may not find their way around like you want, but they'll find it. So throw out all the books, stop expecting from them, and just enjoy them for who they are while you still have them.

[lionslambs]

Mar. 1, 2010 at 6:24 PM

Good stuff!! I actually was the oppositte as a 1st time mom, My baby crawled late, walked late, etc. and I just didnt give a rats behind!! everybody else did, but not me.  My 2nd one just started walking at 20 months...again others had problems with it, but i was ok!! i agree with the breastfeeding though, i didnt understand especially with my 1st, all my options and the determination it would take 2 make it happen!