Rhode Island sucks for alternative moms

[gogreen1976]

So I found a midwife, and she's really nice and understanding of what I want out of my birthing situation... However, in order to have a home water birth, we would have to pay her about $5000 out of pocket, but we qualify for low income so it'd be more like $1500. My insurance does not cover out of hospital births and we can barely afford anything, let alone $1500 to this lovely and deserving midwife. We're behind on rent, our car is dead in the driveway, even after the baby shower we still don't have everything we need, so it's looking like we'll be having a hospital birth after all. My midwife told me that the hospital in question has tubs and they will allow me to spend part of my labor in it but I will have to get out to give birth! I'm heartbroken, to be honest - why can't I get what I want, just this ONCE? She did tell me that she has been trying to get the policy changed and that if I send a letter to the three most cruical people on staff at the hospital it might speed things along. However, I have anywhere from one day to 4 weeks left of my pregnancy here, and not a whole lot of free time in between - I am still working and I am totally exhausted all the time. I am going to set aside time to write this letter sometime this week but I don't feel confident that it will change anything. I really hope that either way I don't have to fight with any doctors or nurses about the other things I want out of this birth - no clamping/cutting of the cord until it stops pulsating, NO BOTTLES/PACIFIERS, no circumcision, I want to be upright and not flat on my back, no drugs, no c section unless absolutely necessary (and I already know it won't be, he has been in position for a few weeks already and isn't going anywhere!)

Sigh. I don't want this experience to be stressful but it is already a struggle. If I wasn't worried about something potentially dangerous happening, I would just say screw it and not leave the house, but what if I need to be stitched up, or what if some other unforeseen thing happens that requires professional help? Neither my fiancee nor my friend who is training to be a doula would know what to do other than call an ambulance, and I'm not taking any chances with my life or the baby's.

[circle_of_life]

Mar. 2, 2010 at 12:44 PM

Can you find someone that will act as your doula to help support you and keep the medical people off your back in the hospital? I think that would really help you to have the birth you want despite the medical setting. Good luck, mama!

[gogreen1976]

Mar. 9, 2010 at 8:46 AM

Thanks! I do actually have a friend who is training to be a doula, and also my fiancee is very stubborn - he's not going to stand for letting anyone do anything we don't want. I do feel better having a midwife and going to a hospital that has the tub option though. The doctor I had been seeing started to scare me after I told her I wanted waterbirth... All of a sudden I was getting all these tests and she was trying to schedule me for a c section! I made the right choice getting out of there when I did.

(Original Poster)