Dear Beauty Industry

[yogapantz]

I think it's time we parted ways.

I'm not listening to you anymore.  I'm not going to allow you to control me with my own insecurities, because for the most part they have dissipated in direct proportion with how much I let YOU be in my life.  I'm sure it bothers you that I no longer read the magazines that are basically a big collection of ads to fix what ails me, but I know how to do stuff now, whether it's a blowjob or whipping up some osso buco. I don't care what you have to say about my tits, zits, hips, or nips.

Aren't you tired? Just a little? I mean, there are so many kinds of women out there. It would make my head spin to try and convince the curly to straighten and the straights to perm, to get the dark ones to lighten and the pale ones to tan, the curvy to diet and the thin to bulk up.  It does not matter what you are, you are wrong and Beauty Industry will fix it!

I refuse to wear cosmetics, I refuse to get spanxed, I refuse to use hairspray, unless it's a special occasion or I have a red carpet appearance or something.  My carpet will always match my drapes, because I'm not going to dye my hair anymore. I'm going to let it go GRAY, which I know makes you shiver in horror over the lost revenue. Please don't cry over the fact that I'm also not going to do anything about my crow's feet, smile lines, dishpan hands, or my breasts, butt, and vagina. No nips, no tucks, nothing with any kind of acid in it. Well, nothing that's not so pure and crunchy and all-natural that I can't snack on it, too.

Surely you can see that you and I have not had a good relationship over the years. I mean, your relationship with me and pretty much every woman and girl in the Western Hemisphere and beyond is based on your making us feel less-than, inferior, and unlovable the way we are. No girl ever feels like cutting herself or starving herself or hanging herself until you enter the picture and convince her that no matter what, she is  not enough and never will be without YOU. Screw the cost, right? I mean, a neurotic and insecure lady is one who is easily led, n'est-ce pas? I have been in the male gaze, and I hope it's watching because right now I'm giving it the bird with both hands. I simply have no desire to please it, and you, any longer. 

Please don't stalk me.

[xxmandyraexx]

Mar. 7, 2010 at 3:08 PM

AWESOME JOURNAL POST!!!

[Rebeccalynn_dj]

Mar. 7, 2010 at 3:29 PM

Great job mama!

[Aubles]

Mar. 7, 2010 at 3:31 PM

The beauty industry may not stalk you, but I will.  Oh, and I'm going to start using a honey-chipotle moisturizer.

[yogapantz]

Mar. 7, 2010 at 3:36 PM

Um, make sure you keep the chipotle off your pink taco, Aubs. Not a good combo.

(Original Poster)

[JoyeAustin]

Mar. 7, 2010 at 3:39 PM

So... turned... on.

[ethans_momma06]

Mar. 7, 2010 at 3:51 PM

Awesome! I admit that after I stopped reading those darn ad rags ( I mean magazines!!!) that I have stopped wearing a whole lot less make-up. On a special occasion I will Mousse my hair, slap on some eyeliner and a few dabs of eyeshadow and that's really it.

And... guess what? I feel GREAT about myself.

[Aubles]

Mar. 7, 2010 at 4:46 PM

Well, now.  That's a tip I'd never get from Vogue.

[caitxrawks]

Mar. 7, 2010 at 5:16 PM

:)

I started using honey as a facewash last week and it's made my face look awesome so far! I used exfoliator so much that my face turned into pizza and broke out all over, ewww. I looked like a 14 year old again.

[used2chaos]

Mar. 7, 2010 at 7:36 PM

I bow down to your awesomeness...

That was fantastic!

[kerijeanbean]

Mar. 7, 2010 at 8:04 PM

Welcome to the the all natural club.  Isn't it nice to not waste time getting ready in the mornings?  It takes me all of 10 minutes.